Late Night Thoughts #1 | 4 Lessons I Have Learned on Holding On and Letting Go

Photo: Will Cornfield, https://unsplash.com/photos/zooszyrsv4Q

For the longest time, I went through life with the feeling that I had little or no control over it.
I embedded other’s beliefs so hard that I truly convinced myself that they belonged to me, and ended up making choices that didn’t fit who I was.

It felt like swimming in the wide ocean; I was trying hard to keep my head out the water, yet the more I tried, the more I sinked.

I felt this way for a while, until one day I stopped kicking so hard.
What felt like falling at first, turned into letting go. Letting go of the negative emotions, of the dark feelings that had taken over. I was allowing things to be, and here I was, suddenly floating back to the surface.

That time, I realised that life is nothing but a constant matter of balancing, an exercise of self-discipline, of holding on and letting go.

When emotions and feelings are constantly trying to pull us in different directions, we can stress out and get carried away, or we can take a deep breath and deal with the fluctuation.

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Photo: Matheus Ferrero, https://unsplash.com/photos/Aslyu4LksuU

When we are caught in the waves of life, how we can fearlessly chose to let things be?

1. Learn What it Means to "Let It Be"

We often talk ourselves into the belief that "letting things be" equals to "giving up", while letting be is about changing the way we relate to things, allowing ourselves to clearly see what ties us down and what pulls us forward.
We are not letting life happen to us, we are simply living without forcing outcomes or putting too much expectations on things we cannot control.

2. Understand why we hold on to things

The most common reason why we hold on to things is because of the way they make us feel, which is: extremely comfortable.
And when we change our perspective, we are threatening the way we relate to them, pushing ourselves out of our "comfort zone".
Letting things be means acknowledging that there are things we cannot force, and accept to let go of what no longer serves us.

Photo: Simon Maage, https://unsplash.com/photos/KTzZVDjUsXw

3. Stop trying hard, and take a step back instead

The hardest part is probably to convince ourselves that it's ok if things don't work the way we want. How tiring it can be to keep paddling upstream? That might be a hint that we want to take another road to climb up our way. When our mind is not absorbed by the effort, we can step back and get a better understanding of what's the best way to go with things.

4. Change angle to change things

Ultimately, the one secret ingredient for embracing letting go is practicing gratitude.
To let things be without feeling a sense of burden, try to shift your focus on the good things you have right now; look at the steps you have taken to be exactly where you are today. How does that feel?
Be grateful for the chances you have been given, for each deep breath, each smile you are gifted with, are powerful reminders that you are here and alive, and that's all that really matters in the end.

Thanks for reading,

Keep shining!
Kim