Every beginning has its end, we just do not know when it will happen, I've never been a positive person, my thoughts are mostly negative and it's not because I'm a bad person or I want that bad things happen to me (nobody really wants that) I see more viable being always prepared for the worst scenario, I know there are people who will say "you only attract bad things, with those bad thoughts" the truth is that I do not care.
Since I started a relationship at a distance with that person, I knew what I was getting into, I knew that I did not belong to their world and that I would never do it, because these people can wrap you with their mysticism and make you want to be part of their world but The truth is that they will never finish accepting you, deep down they will always be better than you. And they will treat you like what you are for them, nothing.
I never thought that the things that did not stop you in the beginning would do just now that the moment of truth is approaching, in fact I thought that the stone in this relationship was you, but no ... in the end it was me or maybe us, honestly, I do not know, I'm sitting here thinking, writing trying to dren all this feelings, because it hurts all the number of disappointments that I have had to endure day after day, I feel that it never stops.
I think what hurts me most about all this is how much I was excited, how different I thought my life would be with this person, how different I would be. In the end nothing happens as we want, we only give fragments of our time to people to realize that when our youth is about to end there is no more time to give, that now the clock only backs off faster and faster following its natural course.
I would have liked you to be braver, that you would have been willing to give everything for me, because I'm sure I would have done it for you, it's a shame there was not much I could offer you, but in reality it was all that I had and I would have given it to you, without a doubt.
Not everything was bad, I like the way I respect myself more as a woman, I like the way I learned to love myself, now I know that not everything is based on sex I think this was what helped me most to open my eyes with respect to many things and how I could improve a lot to speak English HAHAHAHAHA yes, I think this was the best, now I can see the beauty in the details, eyes open ... closed eyes, gestures, smiles and voice tones.
I know that I repeat the phrase "and at the end" many times but that is in what all this time that we spent together reduce, we will never know if it worked, we will never know if we were the one for the other we will never know anything. because you did not give yourself the opportunity to find out; You preferred to let the fears you had make decisions for you, and I just hope that one day when you grow up you will not regret this opportunity that you are leaving behind, because no path in anyone's life is simple and I am very sure of that.
12/11/2017