I tried and tried but somehow I refused to do the usual. You kept whispering in my ears, "move on son. Live yours as I did mine and better even". You did this knowing I never could forget you.
Truth is, I have moved on, I did the day I realised I could never replace you and accepted you would live on with me, in more than mere memories, but in every living breathing moment.
So these days, it's no longer about the sadness or the misses not about feeling a loss or feeling lost.
Speaking of ze 'misses', your sister Isoken has this really lovely daughter; i think i mentioned her to you the other time, she's been doing well, you would have loved her too. She seems to like you very much though you two never met. Yea yea yea, I'm quite the chatter box so she knowd loads about you. I promise, no spices added lol, well maybe just a bit of bay leaves hehe
I hate to beat around the bush and be unable to appropriately articulate my thoughts so allow me simply say, happy birthday yesterday. You know I didn't forget right? Just didn't want to remind those who seem to love you more than I do, of the painful loss ten years ago.
I love you A'ma, we would have been great together. You and the big guy knew better so you gave way to let me be greater. Let's hope the process of becoming greater still doesn't hurt too much. I'll be just fine sha sha, I know you're certain of it.
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