Childhood wasn’t fun for me unlike some other kids who experienced parental care and love . Their fathers usually brought them to school every day and I watch them scream I love you daddy as they hugged and kissed with a great smile on their face. I will look at them with eyes filled with tears as I get pulled along by my elder sister in order for us not to get late to school.
What about those wedding ceremonies we attend with my mum most times, I stand puzzled as I watch them do the father and daughter dance and I wondered if I was going to ever have the opportunity to do this with my Dad.
It wasn’t as if I did not grow up to have a father but the love of a father was what I lacked, my Dad usually leaves home very early in the morning only to return home late at night and unleash his anger on my mum if she had not prepared dinner ,react to the greetings of his kids as if our presence usually gets him irritated.
There was a day we got our result from school and just because I had a 62% in mathematics which was a B , he threw the result to my face and said I do not pay such huge amount as school fees only to get the result of a B instead of an A, so you better work hard and make me proud. That night, I cried my heart out as I asked my mum if he was my biological father.
My elder sister on the other hand always confronts him whenever he does anything wrong, when he shouts at her she shouts back at him, so she usually gets frequent slaps and beatings from my Dad before my Mum eventually interferes and stops him from beating her.
What about the days my Mum gets the share of the beating when he gets drunk and get back home late at night to serve my Mum the beatings that she deserves because she did not open the door soon enough for him when he was knocking.
The only excuse my Mum kept on giving for not getting a divorce was that she did not want us to grow up without our father, but when she realized that the man she wanted to act as our father was becoming a monster, and he was causing more harm than good she immediately got a divorce and we moved out of his house.
My Mum was a strong, stable and self- sufficient woman who could confidently take care of my sister and I without stress so we started living well without my Dad and my mum and my sister became my mother and father. Although, my Mum is indeed pretty and she had so many men coming to ask to start a relationship with her to which she bluntly refuses on a daily basis as she did not want to go through another’’ man-wahala’’ as she likes to call it.
But my continual sad mood usually got my Mum worried as I constantly disturbed her about the fact that I loved the way other kid’s father brought them to school and showed them love. There was this particular uncle Tunde whom I liked the most among all the men that use to come to disturb my mum under the pretense of visiting us. I like uncle Tunde because he likes me a lot and he use to buy me so many gifts, I use to sit on his laps and play with his strong arms whenever he came visiting and the more important reason why I like him so much is that he use to come pick my sister and I to school in the morning and drop us home after school. My love for him grew every passing day.
When my Mum realized that he was taking good care of her kids, she decided to give love another chance but she felt she was obliged to ask for the consent of her Children before making such decision, I was excited about it, but my sister just smiled and said; I like him too but there is something fishy about him that I cannot exactly place my finger on, we laughed at her and concluded that she was only reacting based on the fact that our Dad was an horrible man. She pleaded with my Mum to just give it a little more time before she makes her final conclusion to which my mum agreed.
Few days later, it was a beautiful Friday morning and we were having our mid-term break, my sister went for an extra-moral lesson and I was left alone at home. I sat in front of the television as I watched an amazing cartoon. I heard a knock on the door and behold it was uncle Tunde, I was so glad to have him around because I wanted to tell him about the things that happened in school that day.
He brought me Ice cream as usual and when he realized that no one was at home, he pushed me to the cushion and he removed my pants and said just behave yourself. I started screaming as I remembered all that my mum had told me about men like this and how they go around raping young girls, he was removing his belt in a hurry when I saw someone hit him with a large ceramic on his head from the back and he fell straight to the ground.
It was my sister who had gotten into the room through the back door and when she realized what he was trying to do, she quickly got him unconscious, I was panting really hard as my sister pulled me up immediately and we ran out of the house and locked him up.
My mum later came home and informed the police about the issue, that was how Mr.Tunde got arrested and that was the last time we heard about him.
That was the last time I ever taught about having a father again, I just concluded in my mind that My Mum and sister were good enough for me as they provided me with all that I needed.
This story was written to answer the question asked in the one quality competition.
If I had the power to do everything and anything, but I just had the time to do one thing what will it be?
It will be choosing the type of father I want for myself.
Thanks for reading, your comments, up votes and resteems really means a lot please do not withdraw it.
I'm sure this was really difficult for u to write , and it was kind of a traumatic experience + shock that the man who u wanted to be a father did that , I'm glad that u have supportive character in ur life such as ur sister and a wonderful mom , I wonder if it's the stress on a man especially a father that ends up in him using violence on his kids , really difficult to understand . I believe that a father's love should be unconditional always there to support his children not be the monsters in their lives but rather be the hero that protects them from other monsters.
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thanks for reading through @moonprincess, this is very helpful
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That's life for you my brother. We cannot all be the same
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My brother that is it oh, (but I am a lady)
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I read your story from start to finish. First main issue here are the way our men in Nigeria treat their spouses. The second is that of attempted rape, which I'm glad didn't end up in rape. Most rape cases in Nigeria usually follow this pattern of male family members raping their female relatives or a very close family friend (male) raping a girl in the family. I can relate very well to this. A close family friend and ''brother'' from church almost raped me when I was young and my parents were not home. I really congratulate your mum for taking the right decision to divorce you dad. Maybe she would not have been alive to tell her story and you and your sister would have been constantly exposed to rape. Your mum is a heroine. I celebrate her. When you have time, read my post - PostHumous Birthday Of My Elder Sister- A Victim Of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV). Well done, @oluwatobiloba!!! Keep the posts coming. Cheers.
Kind regards,
@maryfavour
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This case of rape has gradually started growing into somethung really big, may God help us. Thanks for reading ma'am. I'll check the post now.
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Some men in Nigeria treat their wives with respect.
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Yes some men do treat thier wives with respect while some others treat thier wives with disgust.
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I agree with you, @destinysaid. However, many don't. I have a husband, father, brothers, male friends etc. The only men who are close relatives I know who treat their wives with respect are my uncles (maternal).
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Ok, well hopefully things change. Spreading the word about respect to wives is a big deal that shouldn't be over looked.
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Well done girl... But as for me I had a loving and caring father who loved me so much but I lost him, you can check my post titled "the little story about the father of all times." For other fathers who do not cherish their child and make them fill special I always feel sorry for those kids because in as much as my father is no longer alive, I still felt his love around me when he was alive and I still feel it and miss him always. Thank you for sharing, but am sorry about your bad experiences.
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I am so happy for you my dear friend that you had a father who was caring and sorry about the loss of your dad too.
If all fathers were loving, this world would have been a better place.
Thanks for reading.
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