In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.
Control in a healthy relationship passes back and forth as desire and need dictate for each partner. In an unhealthy relationship you have an unbalanced manipulation of this control by a partner.
Although control is never in complete balance, it becomes manipulation when one partner, in essence blackmails, the other with what would otherwise be a reinforce for the manipulated under a healthy circumstance.
This happens for a plethora different reasons, but the condition comes about by two ways – the submissive participant becomes conditioned to allow the manipulation to occur and/or the dominate initiates the manipulation.
In either case the rule still holds true – the one who needs the other the least has the most control. Nowhere is this more evident than in interpersonal relationships.
'The Rational Male' by Rollo Tomassi
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FK901R8
At times, we want to have everything and everyone under control, which is impossible, we can't control everything and everyone, so everything goes out of control. By letting go and not wanting to control every situation, ironically, we maintained that control in our lives by having less stress, anxiety and peace of mind.
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Main tenet of Stoicism!
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Buddhism
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https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/19/the-cardinal-rule-of-relationships/
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