(Source: Inspirational Quote- BBM Channel)
I used to be friends with a girl while I was still in school. I met her while I was writing my exam to gain admission into University of Lagos (UNILAG), which was unsuccessful. I got attracted to her because of her beauty and she looks very intelligent. We started talking, after the exam, we exchange numbers.
The time we met, we were both single but I didn’t really had the intention to ask her out even though I was crushing on her. After some months, we became close and we started discussing about everything. I discovered she came from a poor background and her mother died given birth her.
She had a mean childhood; she was not taking seriously by her dad which affected her self-esteem. She had to leave the Dad after her primary school to stay with her mum's senior sister. She had to put extra effort in everything she did because she felt it was the only way she could pay her Aunt efforts for been there.
I have to go back to the objective of this post, the more I think about her upbringing, the more it pains me how her life turned out. What really got us close was that I was always advising her and helping with the little finance I can help with.
We were both unsuccessful with admission into UNILAG, the next year I chose Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta (FUNAAB) but she couldn’t process her admission because of lack of finance to purchase Jamb form. I got admitted in FUNAAB that same year and we lost contact for some months.
When we started talking again, she told me there was a guy interested in her and how he calls her day and night to check on her. The guy gave her money to buy her Jamb form into Delta state University (DELSU). I was aware how he made sure she was preparing extensively for her Exams. He was in his 3rd year in DELSU, I can’t really remember his course but I know it is a geographical course.
She got admitted in 2014, to study medicine and surgery in DELSU. The geographical guy was convincingly there in her adjustment into the school. Her Aunt struggled to pay her school fees and accommodation but she found it hard to keep up with the feeding and necessary financial responsibilities of the university. The Geographical Guy sacrificed a lot in making her concentrate with school activities by constantly organizing Night class and Food provisions.
With everything that happened, she was on first class in 100 level. And I was very happy with the guy contribution to her life and the fact he respected she doesn’t want to have sex till she get married.
One problem she had with the guy was that anytime she asked him about marriage, he is always reluctant to get into the discussion. She said, he belief it wasn’t the right time and he doesn’t want to think too far because the future was unpredictable. I supported the guy perception and I always advised her to focus on her school and the things the guy is doing. To me love is not by words but by action. I also believed all the time and resources he has spent on her, unless he feels undervalued by her, he can’t just dump her. I always joked that the guy we never have the balls to end the relationship and it will only end by her decision.
My Jokes turned into reality one night, she called me that they had an argument and he said he doesn’t feel he would marry for the next 10 years because he feel responsible to repay his poor parents for all they have done for him. It was that night I discovered it was the guy's father that paid her school fees and accommodation in her second year. My head almost blow because there was no basis she should feel insecure when the family of the guy has welcomed her. She said she ended the relationship because her future wasn’t safe forgotten her present was safe because of the Boy. I knelt down that night on call with her pleading her not to make a decision she will regret. She was adamant with her decision.
A month later week, I called her and asked about her well-being, I noticed a guy was with her. When I asked, I noticed something weird; she was someone completely open with me. But she didn’t want to introduce me with the guy. It was one of her friend that told me they started dating a week after she broke up with the geography guy. I pretend like I didn’t know they were dating because I wanted to be patient to hear for myself what she likes about the guy.
After a while, one night while we were chatting on whatsapp, she opened up a little, she denied they were dating but said the reason she is attracted to him was that he was a great kisser, his building his own house, has a car, his popular, handsome, chatty, always tell her what she wanted to hear. I swear it was the most irritating conversation I ever had with her. I asked her, what he does? Whether he is a graduate? Does he ask about her day and school activities? All her answers were negative, I fumed on the basis of wondering what he talks that she likes. She said she calls him most of the time and they only see during the weekend. She wasn’t happy with what I said and she said she won’t talk to me again until I apologize. I refused to say sorry, what is the essence of having a friend you cannot tell the truth.
We didn’t talk for almost a year; it was her ex-boyfriend, the Geography guy that called me February last year that he overheard she was pregnant. I could not belief because she always maintained that sex is after marriage. I called her that evening, without saying anything, she started apologizing and said she know the reason I called was because she was pregnant. Immediately, tears rolled from my eyes finding out the rumor were true. She said the 'Mr great kisser' was responsible and he beat her out of the completed house he was building.
Anytime, I think about her, I feel guilty for abandoning her. If I was there giving her my honest opinion, it might not turned out this way. I refused to support her in aborting the pregnancy because of my religious belief. After she got ahead with it, she refused to pick my call till date.