Why we mustn't force ourselves into loving

The title of this article could have been - Chemistry or Mechanics, what's the way to go. Later we shall see if this would have been a fitting title.

Sitting in a combi going to Makoni, I felt compelled to go to the driver-row seats as I had been sitting on those turnable seats which occupy the passage which I had to clear for a disembarking passenger. I acted on the compulsion after a moment's expectation that a fellow clearer of the passage would go & occupy that vacant driver-row seat I later occupied (the fellow was comfortable occupying the passage.) Having installed myself in that seat, out of convenience rather than conviction - I always consider the driver compartment as a high-impact risk area in case of an accident (that's probably why we wear seat belts in this zone isn't it?) - I observed 2 Futbol Club Barcelona stickers & a Chelsea FC sticker (or was it two?). A thought occurred to my mind that I must support an English club given my club Barcelona's recent struggles in the Champions League, going out of the quarter-finals without a goal in it. I had thought of supporting the team that I don't like - Real Madrid because their success in the Champions League always follows Barca's fall from grace. This was a thought I had entertained in the pain of the moment or rather days of failing to comprehend why the strong chemistry of MSN isn't rewarding them duly.

Now here I was, thinking if Chelsea & Barca are a good combination to support. I felt a conviction that these two cannot be combined for support given their rivalry. I then rejected this idea for I saw that I was just going for convenience of easing the Barca pain, not for the love of the team. Even if Manchester City play the passing game, I am not able to support them out of that. I felt attracted to Barcelona because of that enduring image of Ronaldinho holding the Barca jersey as if to remove it. I came to love it because of tiki-taka. Even if Ronnie did not continue with that celebration every game but I did not stop supporting Barca because what attracted me was no longer on show. Even when he left for AC Milan, I did not follow him there even though I am a fan of his. Even if Bayern were passing their way to honours under Guardiola, that could not lay a stake to claim my affection.

Numerous times I have thought that now I need a girl like now. In there is a profound need that is genuine & born out of the convictions of loneliness. This thought is more pronounced during my times of distress when I will be craving for comforting company. But it is the urgency that I attach to this thought that makes the thought imprudent - 'like now' - , an imprudence borne out of convenience, not conviction. And I know that any girl who comes as an outcome of that thought will be just a convenient measure lacking the force of conviction that brings with it durability. That girl would have come from the spur of the moment rather than a deep, profound liking for her. An emotional attachment, a strong chemistry that results in a covalent bond rather than a mechanical attachment that detaches itself when there is long distance or something better showing up. I would rather go for chemistry, looking for ingredients that have a positive affinity to each other & that may take time. Patience is a virtue in these times.