Unforgiveness is the deadliest poison that we can carry in our life. Forgiveness is not something new for us. As kids, they do not take offences personally, they cry and let it out and eventually they forget about it and behave like as if nothing has happened. But as we grow older and we have live long enough to understand what is right and wrong, we tend to take peoples' offences so personally that it becomes impossible to let it go. Some of the offences may hurt us to deeply that it is just no way we can ever let it go.
Each and everyone has his or her own way in handling forgiveness. But today, I will be sharing my thoughts on unforgiveness and what I think is the best way to handle it.
Forgiveness means to completely set free the anger that we feel towards someone who has done us wrong. To be honest, many of us still do struggle with truly forgiving someone from within our hearts. We may say we have already forgive them, but we may still be carrying some bitterness and resentment towards that person. If we are not careful, this thing can eventually give birth to hatred and set a trap for us. And unforgiving person can become so consumed with his or her own anger, till they become blind and we don't see things through the eyes of love. This is dangerous.
So how can we solve this venom before it consumes us?
1. Read the Bible about Forgiveness
The Bible talks a lot about forgiveness. In fact, John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.This verse also talks about God taking the action to not only show His love but also His forgiveness towards us.
While we are still sinners, God sent His son, Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins. Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do. Some may even struggle for the rest of their lives with the hurt and bitterness they have towards another person. Imagine how did God felt while watching generations after generations turning their backs against Him and choosing their own way. Choosing their sinful nature instead of obeying God's law and commandments.
Yet, God is so full of love and compassion, He overlooked all our wrongdoings and sinful nature. God already knew that we are sinful by nature and it was impossible for us to meet up to the standards of God. For He is holy, blameless and pure.
We were born into the the sinful nature and not one of us is free from this sinful nature. Many times, He called us to do what is right in His eyes, yet generations after generations we still fell and turn to our sinful nature. Imagine how it would have felt for God to watch us, from centuries to centuries turning away from Him and choosing our own way.
Imagine how He would have felt when we kept choosing our sinful nature. He waited for us because He loved us so much. Beyond our imperfections and sinful nature. God saw our weakness in fulfilling His laws and commandments and that is why He made a new covenant with us.
Hebrew 10:16-17 This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds. Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more."
God said He will remember no more our wrongdoings. It means that God has forgiven us for our sins and we have been set free though Christ Jesus. Amen to this!
2. Set God as our example
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
By looking at this great example we have in the Bible, we know that we ought to be more like Him. We are to forgive those who have done us wrong, not only one time but many times. As humans are by nature not perfect beings, they fall short and they are prone to wrongdoings. When we are able to see others the way God sees them, we will be able to love them the way we ought to love them.
Everyone is guilty of wrongdoing, once recognise this flaw in mankind, we know that we should be forgiving just like our Father in heaven, who is also forgiving.
3. Allow the Holy Spirit to Work in Us
Jesus has paid for all our debt on the cross and this includes the wrongdoings of the person who hurt you, therefore we ought to leave their offences to Jesus and let Him do the works in their hearts. It is not our job to repay evil for evil or to correct their wrongdoings, or to slander or backbite about them behind their backs. I admit I have been guilty of this many times too.
But I hope my experience may bring light to some of you who are struggling in this area.
We need to seek the Lord in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to guide us and give us wisdom and discernment in handling this matter. We cannot do it in our own strength, because it is certainly difficult to forgive others with our own strength. But through the power of His Spirit, all things are possible.
1 Peter 4:8: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
4. Practice Love
Romans 13:8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
God is the author of love and He is love. God does not love sin but He loves the sinner and desires all to come to the knowledge of Him and His salvation through Jesus Christ. The penalty of sin is death but thanks be to Jesus, it is through Him that we may once again be reconciled with God.
1 John 4: 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
We know that we ought to practice love because love is from God. It is through the power of the Holy Spirit we will be able to practice love for others. Those who practice love has fulfilled the law as it is stated in Romans 13:8.
5. Pray for a Reconciliation
Hearts are broken and relationships are destroyed but God wants us to be in peace with everyone. We need to seek God and let the Holy Spirit work in our hearts, so that there can be a reconciliation and restoration of the relationships that have been broken due to unforgiveness. Only God is able to restore and bring healing to the hearts and minds of those parties involved in this. But we need to take the first step in surrendering our anger and bitterness to God and do the part of God wants us to do.
With love
~prudence
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