Deceit and love - day 39 of the Steemit school 100 day poetry challenge

in love •  7 years ago  (edited)

Deceit and love

jane-austen-1377178_960_720.png

was it infatuation?
was it love at first sight
when he was near
everything was bright

smiles were exchanged
his presence, welcoming
it was enough to just see him
life had a new meaning

there was a lot in common
talks and walks were just above all
life put up a strange twist,
alas, he was hiding his fault

did he have any feeling for her
or was she just a pastime till his fiance appeared


Note

True love is indeed a blessing but many a time, young hearts are wounded because some people cheat. Be careful whom you like. Do a background check before you decide to get closer. History is full of such instances. Have you read the book - Sense and Sensibility?

The healing period

Hearts may be wounded
it will take time to heal
life is not ended
look ahead to the new

@d-pend contest

entry for Announcing the Steemit School Poetry 100 Day Challenge! (Total Prize Fund 2000 SBD)

I write poems to express myself. I started writing at the age of twelve or so and some of my poems were published in magazines for children, a time when print still ruled the world. The internet and the blogging world has helped me write poems. Most of it was as I wrote earlier, to express myself and my thoughts. I have also been a ghostwriter.
Steemit has helped me write with freedom and also earned me very good friends who encourage me to write. I hope my readers will support me and also join in this contest. I am not a student of literature and so I do not consider myself an expert in poetry. It is the judge who will decide.

Please join the Steemit school now
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©sayee

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This was a nice write may I make two tiny suggestions though

1- I feel that the flow of the whole piece gets snagged a bit by the second line of the second stanza.

his presence excited the whole being

While I understand that you wanted to flesh out the kind of excitement it felt to me that the piece would fair better if you left the description out-

his presence excited

also it might be good if you added a title to your writing notes or a spacer between them and the Poem <3

Thanks a lot. I will do as you suggested

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one should be careful but only if love could be done so thoughtfully.
Though I agree these days one need to be careful !

thanks dear, you are right.