Romance and relationships are a part of life. For some of us, they remain mysterious. For others, they bring us joy.
I have been married to the love of my life for over 16 years. We married after finals week, enjoyed our honeymoon during winter break, and then finished up our last semester of college.
Our journey has been an adventure. Adventures are supposed to be fulfilling, but they also present challenges as well. Our adventure has included:
- living overseas for over 10 years
- returning back to the United States
- dealing with job loss
- raising a family (a large family that is)
- learning about each other and how to help the other grow
- ministering to the needs of others while we are hurting ourselves
But I can think of no one else whom I would rather journey with. My wife is a kind and caring woman. She serves me, my family, and others from an abundance of joy in her heart. I think she is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. I am blessed that I call her wife, friend, and lover.
How did I know that she was "the one"?
There are two questions that I recommend all couples answer when deciding if they are willing to give their lives to each other.
Can you live without your significant other?
This question focuses on your emotions.
- How do you feel when you see that person?
- How do you feel when you are around that person?
This is the typical movie stereotype when a love-struck girl screams, "I will die if I can not be with him!" New love invokes this type of response in our hearts. It is both mesmerizing and intoxicating, but it often causes us to glance over (or downright ignore) characteristics in the other person that are less than flattering.
The answer to the "Can you live without the other person?" is answered by the heart. I fully support people who feel a deep and meaningful romantic connection with another person. I desire that for my wife and I, but I need to remind you that emotions change. For some of us, emotions change quickly and drastically.
So many people "fall out of love" as quickly as they fell into it because emotions are dictating their relationships. Once again I want to affirm the emotional connection you are looking for, but there are other factors that we need to consider as well. When emotions fail, are you still committed to the other person?
Can you live every day for the rest of your life with your signifcant other?
You need to be able to answer NO to question #1 before moving on to question #2. If you already answered YES, you need to break up with the person you are with and find someone who invokes an emotional response in your heart (at least at some level). Sorry to be so blunt, but it is not fair to drag someone along who you are not emotionally committed to.
If you answered NO to question #1 and are not ready to answer YES to question #2 you need need to re-evaluate your relationship. I am not saying that you have to break up (yet), but you need to be honest with yourself and the other person about why you are not ready to make an even deeper commitment.
We answer question #2 with our heads.
- Can you wake up every morning for the rest of your life and smile when you see the other person?
- Can you get past the "bad habits" that you are starting to see or will you try to change the other person?
- Are you willing to enter into a covenant relationship with the other person or will you cut loose as soon as things get bad?
- Is "for better or worse" a simple phrase or a lifestyle?
- Are you on the same page in regards to marriage, children, finances, dreams, and goals?
Can you live with the one for the rest of your life? If you answer is NO, then you have not yet found the person you are looking for.
Final Thoughts
I believe that love is wonderful and beautiful. I believe that marriage is sacred and the best way to live out a romantic relationship (I know a lot of people might disagree with me on this point). I believe that marriage is a covenant relationship, not a convenient relationship.
If you are wondering if you have meet the one. Be sure to ask yourself:
- Can you live without your significant other?
- Can you live every day for the rest of your life with your significant other?
If you are ready to answer NO then YES, congratulations! If you answered YES and NO , ask yourself why and consider ending your relationship so that you have the freedom to find true love (and so that you give freedom to the other person in your life to do the same).
@SumtraNate
Image Source: https://pixabay.com/en/desktop-background-love-in-love-3061483/
It is really "something" big to answer!, big deal to just ignore, when it comes it really hard to find the correct answer for many of us!!. I am really sure for what I have done, I found her even not face to face, we began at first 6 months by phone. I decided to be with her with fully understand of my feeling. not physically attracted, we met face to face at the day I proposed her in front of her Father. I came alone to proof that I am in love with the one and only one!
Thanks
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That is a great story! I wish you the best in your relationship both today and in the future.
I still have a headache. I am off work tomorrow so I hope to rest some. Thanks for asking.
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have you got better @sumatranate??
hope you get better soon from your headache.
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bagi saya hidup ibarat sungai, cinta adalah airnya, sungai akan kering dan tidak ada manfaatnya tanpa air, air kadang kala jernih, pada waktu yang lain ia keruh, menemukan cinta sejati dalam hidup bagaikan air yang jernih ditengah-tengah sungai dengan bebatuan nan indah, bisa menjadi penyejuk bagi orang lain, keharmonisan sebuah keluarga menjadi sumber inspirasi bagi orang,,
mari hidup dengan saling mencintai dan menayangi
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Ini gambaran baik bagi cinta. Ada waktu kering tapi kami harus cari yang jernih dan penuh.
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Finally a good post on love and relationship.
Here I wanna tell what is happening with me. I saw a girl, a simple and sweet girl, in a shop. I was just watching her and she leave the shop. I didn't know anything about her. Like James Bond, I found her college that situated 1 km from my apartment. In annual festival of that college I met her again but I didn't tell what I feel for her. After some time she was in front of me in a taxi, me and my friend were talking about crypto-trading. She noticed me and smile several times. But again I can't share my feelings due to hesitation. Now I have enough courage and confidence to have a conversation with her but I have no way for it. She is a hosteler and rarely she came out from campus and i have no source to find out when she comes out. I have no way to go in that college. Only two months are left in my graduation and her's too.
I don't want help from third person as it may have bad impression. I have no way to express my feelings because she was not on Facebook or Instagram. I found some of her classmates on Facebook but they didn't respond for my text.
So what should I do?
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Hey @irrahul! Thanks for sharing what you are experiencing. This is my advice. If you really like this lady you need to let her know. I believe that men should be brave enough to tell a lady what he feels and then respect her enough to let her make a decision. You make the offer. She is the one who accepts or declines.
I wish you the best. It is hard to be vulnerable, but it is good to be brave. You will never know unless you take the next step. But if she says "no" then you need to respect her answer.
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kesetian bersumber dari cinta, kalau sudah tidak mampu mencintai maka lepaskan dia, supaya dia tidak tersakiti dengan ketidak setiaan kita,,,
tampaknya kita punya pandangan sama tentang cinta @sumatranate
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Sangat setejuh!
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Friend, you write an idea every day. The needs of others are of work.
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Very informative words on relationship. Yet to find my 'the one' and I hope I really find 'the one'
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Blessings as you look for someone you are willing to spend the rest of you life with.
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Amen.
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Thank you for your post how get me to remember what i love
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You are very welcome.
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Hy sir I have relation and in this post, you told a lot of relation.....
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