One of the most significant findings in psychology in the last twenty years is that individuals can choose the way they think. - Martin Seligman
That is really exceptional, Martin.
Many people believe that the moment they were born, life had already prepared a storyboard for them: a major sense, a higher meaning, a path to follow. But I think that this concept actually makes us losing control over our own thoughts, beliefs and doings.
It's very easy and comfortable to believe in the idea of a pre-scripted scenario.
But sometimes the apparently smoothest way isn't the most beneficial in the long term. Miracles rarely come easy.
Here's how I manipulated my own destiny and started to live for real.
@surfermarly's favourite state of mind: balanced πππ
My second birth
It was a summery day, one of these postcard moments that could have been part of a movie.
We were a group of five couples, camping close to the Northern Coast of Fuerteventura, a windy and sandy surfers' island where you feel like somebody that is stranded on the moon - an habitable moon.
Sand was the dominant element besides the Ocean.
We hit the perfect week in August. The Sea was still quite warm, the air temperature ranged from 24 to 28 degrees Celsius, and a gentle swell brought in some mellow waves from the North West.
Since then I've been a lot of times at this place; yet it was never as magical as this one day again.
Fuerteventura, August 2013 (original picture)
Sometimes you don't have a second chance to re-live that one experience.
We got up early and had a quick breakfast in order to catch the first waves during the low tide.
My surf baptism - the very first time I entered the Ocean with a surfboard - had taken place only one month before.
By chance it all happened on my 32nd birthday. I was definitely older than the average surf class participant. But I was too busy with myself to care.
It was embarrassing. You may only imagine how I looked like while I was desperately trying to get up on that floating something - which was rather a boat than a board.
My whole life I had been a sporty girl, yet that day I felt like a clumsy cow that had never seen a swim suit in her life.
Two hours passed and I was still unable to get up and stand up on my feet. I was so incredibly sad. Luckily nobody saw the tears running down my face since water was everywhere and the salty sadness just dropped into the salty Sea and magically disappeared.
However, my inner me told me that it was too early to completely give up.
It was late in the evening when the pro (teacher) announced the very last wave before closing my birthday's session. "One more, guys!" I can still hear the sound of his voice.
I was shocked. It was unacceptable for me to go home without catching at least one wave.
We had been in the water for hours, my body felt extremely tired, and I thought that I had already spent all of my energy savings. But if you're a sportsman or sportswoman, then you know one thing: we've got always something left. No matter how exhausted you might feel, if it comes to winning or losing human batteries have a special last-minute reloading function.
And then it happened. It was the last wave of the day and it became mine.
On the 11th of July 2013 I caught my very first wave.
There are moments in life that are powerful enough to become turning points. They divide our lives into two pieces: the time before and after them.
That one wave was one of these turning points.
It was clear to me that I wouldn't ever forget what happened in the water that day. I wasn't happy, I wasn't fulfilled - it was so much more than that.
It was like finding the last piece to my life's puzzle - a piece I didn't even know I was missing.
One month had passed since then but the memory was still as crystal clear as the water.
When we arrived at the beach I was thirsty. I wanted to live it again. I wanted to know if I was able to reproduce the moves or if everything had just been a dream.
From today's point of view I perfectly realize what happened: I was already infected by the surfing virus.
Surfing is like mafia. Once you are in, you are in.- Kelly Slater
I still didn't know that I just joined this group of insane people.
Now entering the water again felt like coming home - but even more intense. When I close my eyes I still feel it.
It took me a couple of failed attempts, but then I jumped on that board and flew. Luckily one of my friends saved the memory forever by shooting the following picture.
My rebirth - That moment when you just fly
Imagine the happiest moment in your life and multiply it with eternity. That's how I felt. It was a morning's miracle, and I had just created it.
Christians believe in Reincarnation. I believe that we don't even need to die to be born again.
One life can be made of many small lives.
The only thing I did was following my instinct.
I had never been a water person. At the age of 5 I learned how to keep myself on the water surface at a public swimming hall. However, I enjoyed much more being on a tennis court than in a pool at that point of time.
Who would have thought that the rough Ocean, strong currents, wet clothes and salty hair could become my passion? Me not!
That's why I don't believe in destiny. All external signs were meant to bring me on a different path. However, I chose to tear down walls (especially walls of fear) instead of changing my direction.
That's why I believe that we should carefully listen whenever our inner voice tells us to try harder and still not to give up.
I could have decided to become a beacher instead of a surfer. But then I wouldn't ever have found my real ME.
So here's my advice: Be curious and pay attention. When life knocks on the door you should carefully listen. Some chances aren't given twice to us.
Your pre-scripted destiny might be the safer path, but probably not the one where you gonna learn how to fly...
Best,
Marly -
Don't forget to participate in today's #LoveFriday, hosted by the wonderful @liliana.duarte.
Original content. Quotes found on pinterest.com, twitter.com, askideas.com, quotefancy.com and .
I had no idea when this became your life, I love hearing the story of how it began! My husband always says it's not simply loving what you do, it's being obsessed with it haha, he will love this story too! And I know what it's like to be obsessed, when I am in the middle of writing a book you could shout my name ten times before I will hear you, I'm so lost in that world. And yes, I also know what you mean about finding that last reserve of energy. I ran long distance in high school. Not track, but cross country, which means our races were miles long. And no matter how exhausted I was, I would dig down deep and sprint that last hundred yards, generally passing two or three people, and when I crossed that finish line, whew, my legs would be rubber and want to collapse from under me, and I would feel like throwing up. Actually I even did throw up once.
One thing though- the majority of Christians do Not believe in reincarnation, they actually think the belief in reincarnation is a Paegan or heathen belief which translates into BAD in their book. Buddhists believe in reincarnation, and most Christians think Buddhism is wrong. What Christians mean by Born Again is something else entirely. They think that by accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior He transforms them, wakes up their spirit, washes away their sinful past and that's what makes them 'born again'.
My brother will relate to you so much! He always loved playing the guitar and singing, but he didn't know that he had it in him to write and compose his own songs. I kept telling him to try, and finally he did. He now has over twenty original songs, and this was his very first one:
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Hi, friend @dreemit,
I'm glad I stumbled across your comment to Marly here today. I've played and really enjoyed your brother's song, and so I went and found his other music on YouTube... Listening to it now! ;)
I'm really glad you gave him the encouraging impetus to start composing. :D Thanks! ;)
πππ
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Hey there, how are you? That's awesome, I'm so glad you're enjoying it. Especially since he should be joining us on st.eemit soon-- I've been bugging him for months and he finally signed up, then the acceptance went to his spam and for some reason he couldn't get into it so he's trying to sort it out. He has some fans on here already because I've done posts on him throughout. I really can't wait until he starts here though, since there are a number of his songs he has yet to upload. Plus, he's just an awesome guy, my best friend next to my husband :)
Oh, actually I have a video I recorded at my parent's house of a tribute song he wrote after Chris Cornell died. But it is also loosely about my dad, who has had several close calls in the past couple of years. Enjoy!
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Thanks!
Earlier today, I found his cover of "Never Been to Spain," a song I've always liked... ;)
Thanks for the video! :D
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Oh that's a beautiful one, too!
Yes, he should join steemit, soon. I'm one of these fans you mentioned :-))
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I know, I can't believe he's taking so long! xxxooo
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@dreemit! You should see me smiling now π What a wonderful comment which is actually a story on its own! You've got my full admiration for these cross country runs - wow! I think running requires a LOT of will power and mental strength since you need to carefully distribute your energy and most of the time it runs out in the end anyways. My longest run was 10km (one of these Nike sponsored city runs) and I almost collapsed behind the finish line, haha! It was embarrassing. So hats off, sweetie!!!
Oh I had no idea that Christians don't believe in that way of reincarnation! Thanks for the hint!!! I should be more careful when mentioning religious beliefs I have no idea about π
Do you have an alternative link to that song? The video can't be displayed in my country, but I'd love to hear it!! It's wonderful to know that you inspired him to discover another talent which he was already carrying inside. Sometimes we need a friend or family member who point out our potentials. In my case it was writing (blogging), too. All my family and friends always said: You need to tell your stories. Last week I met one of my ex boyfriends in Munich (we're still close) and talking about steemit and my blog and all this new writing and vlogging passion he said: I told ya. π
Have a wonderful weekend, my friend!
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Marly, if you find a VPN (Virtual Private Network) that "connects" you to an I.P. address in the U.S., you should be able to play Ed's song. It is really good! Worth a little effort to hear.
Click Here for an article that explains this in more detail... ;)
Cheers!
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You're the best! Thank you :)
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Amazing story! You were combining your personal experiences with philosophical explanations. That's exactly the same what I'm practising in my life.
My friend Lisa (I talked about her) had her turing point when she went into the air with a paraglider. Now she is almost always in the air.
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Thank you my friend!!! I'm happy you enjoyed it in such way.
Yeah, now I know who Lisa is π I think we've got all this one passion sleeping inside of us. The only thing needed is to be brave enough to set it free. It may require some efforts, we need to overcome fear, do something we've never done, challenge our life strategy,... but from my own experience I can tell: it's definitely worth trying!
Have a wonderful weekend!
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You said
That is key and very true.
Changing our mind or core belief about life or a situation is akin to working a group of muscles. At first it takes purposeful and tiring effort, conscious thought and practice.
So, if you had sat on the beach with your surf board and watched others surf and wished and wished you could do the same, you never would have stepped into the water.
You changed your attitude or mindset from I want this, to doing it. You stopped overthinking.
We can change as we DO not just as we think. Both are necessary to get where we want to go.
As you demonstrated with your surfing, the changes come as you persevere and push yourself forward toward whatever goal you've set.
You worked it, you didn't flip on a switch to instant change.
I liked your life example. I think you demonstrated the attitude β If not now, when.
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What a wonderful comment, thank you so much for your words!
Actually I never sat on the beach in the beginning. That is even weird. But that means that I didn't start because I wanted to imitate someone, but to find my own way. Later I consciously decided on sitting there and watching since you learn a lot from others by simply studying their moves (same happens watching surf videos). You internalize how they move their arms, how they turn around, where their head looks at, etc.
We tend to overthink a lot in our lives, basically everything. Most of the problems and fear is only in our heads. We anticipate something that might happen in the future and complicate our lives but then it probably never happens. I have stopped to worry about anything that could have a negative influence on my life and rather focus on the things that have a positive influence on me RIGHT HERE AND NOW π
Again, thanks for your valuable thoughts, I enjoyed reading them a lot!
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yes yes yes - even we met know i really know your CV :-) are you back at home? Had to give this a 100%
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Hehe, there are still some secrets about my CV I haven't shared yet π
Yeah, I just landed/stranded on my little island at 27 degrees Celsius. First thing I did: putting on my flip flops, haha! So nice.
It was wonderful to meet you and Christian in person!!! Hope we will repeat that one day in the future.
Big hugs and happy happy weekend!!!
PS: Thanks for your generous upvote π
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Glad to hear this. Perhaps you will make a photo shooting with your bavarian "dirndl" on your surfboard.
Such a post will certainly go viral.
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Haha, that would be surely a lot of fun!! Thing is I left my Dirndl in Munich since it's actually the only place where I ever wear it... Hmmm... π
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The false illusion within life that keeps us bonded to its rat wheel makes most lives unpleasant or maybe busier than we'd like. The smart ones step off from time to time and eventually never return finding true happiness in a beautiful world.
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These are VERY wise words my friend!!! Thank you.
I wish you a wonderful weekend with slowly turning wheels π
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:)
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Listening to your story gave me hope. Especially after you revealed your age where as you coined "My life started"..
I have to be at least a decade younger than you. Even so, do you know how many time i have had the mindset of "There's not much time left!!"
Young, clueless, never dared to go off the beaten path. I think these things describe me. I think it all comes down to fear. I dont have much in life and is deathly afraid to lose what little i have. And so has resorted to this risk-adverse boxed up life that makes me miserable by the day.
Seeing you finding your passion at an age where i consider "end of my youth" gave me a slap to my face. I should not be afraid and yes, i can hypothetically mess around for another 10 years and still make it.
Thank you for your heart-to-heart. It certainly spoke to me and had me pondering my young life.
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yes! thank you for sharing your story. :) I think my first time surfing was when I was 23 too! Follow your passions and yes... pay attention, when life knocks, be ready! :) Love that your moment of pure joy was captured! :)
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Starting at the age of 23 is much better. I would have loved to have this opportunity. Now I'm trying to be cool at the age of a lady, hahaha
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ahahah! You are cool! :)
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You're cooler since you are an acrobat π
I'd look like a fool trying to do what you do... haha
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hahhaha! oh man! I still think your going to be a natural! If I end up going to Steemfest, I want to fly you. heheh :)
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Haha, now I'm not afraid about my presentation anmymore but about your plans π
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this gave me goosebumps of inspiration!
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Hehe, I'm happiest to hear that - this was my motivation to write this article π
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Wow Marly powerful story, thanks for sharing! I always wondered how you came to be where and who you are, but always assumed you'd been surfing since childhood. This gives me hope that I too could become a surfer some day as I approach my 30th birthday. Sort of felt like I was too old to get into it but obviously it can be done!
Amazing as well that ability to dig deep and find energy that you didnt know was there when you really want something. What a special memory this must be :)
Here's to 32 more years full of waves!
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Thanks for your nice comment, @adventureevryday!
Yeah well it's not been easy at an age of 30+. Everything is smoother when we're young, haha!
But if you're a sporty person in general, you can start doing almost any kind of sports at any age.
I wasn't perfectly trained when I had my very first lesson. It was a period of time in my life where I fully enjoyed eating a lot of pasta and pizza π Through surfing I lost many kg of unnecessary body fat over the years. That helps a lot when it comes to jumping on that board. In the beginning I felt like a sea lion trying to get up, hahaha!
Cheers to the next 32 - or 30 in your case! π
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It can't be compared, but I had a similar experience at my 7-8 years old, but with riding a bike!
My parents offered me a bike and I took some time to loose the fear of riding it alone. One day my father said if I was not using it, he would sell it. It was a click for me...and on my bday, βI start riding it by myself!! Still love to ride :)
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That's a beautiful story! @dreemit mentioned something similar in her comment above. Sometimes we need someone to push us into the right direction. In my case my family and friends had always motivated me to write. You need to tell your stories. Steemit provided me with the appropriate environment where I was finally brave enough to try...
Have a wonderful weekend!
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I can relate to a lot of what you said here. I still remember days of surfing from years ago when everything comes together to make the perfect waves. I remember trying to learn to surf as a young teenager. But I started with a short board without an instructor. It was frustrating at first but once I stood up I never went back.
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Oh I can imagine how you felt... In the beginning it's very frustrating, no matter how long or short your board is. Well probably you would have done better with one of these huge soft boards, too. But anyways, the first step always hurts a lot.
So you don't practice surfing anymore?
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I still surf almost daily if there are waves. I am a bit obessive about it and it is is hard for me to mantain balance like you mentioned. Sometimes I surf for 8 hours straight.
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8 hours straight?!? Are you kidding? I've never met a person who's able to do that... Wow! So where do you surf?
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Mainly in the Santa Barbara/Goleta area. I ride my bike to the beach in about 5 minutes with surfboard under my arm.
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Oh that sounds perfect to me! I'm happy for you π
I've been to Santa Barbara once and loved the ambient.
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Wonderful personal story and I love how you refer to discovering your passion for surfing as a 2nd birth.
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Thank you, Stephen! I'm very happy that you enjoyed it π
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Great story of overcoming failure.
Reminds me of how i discovered snowboarding.
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Thank you π
I stopped snowboarding after an accident a couple of years back - preferred to do skiing then. I love wintersports even though I can't practice them much anymore! Do you do snowboarding frequently?
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I always admired surfers and always wanted to learn how to surf, but I'm so terrified. I love the beach and ocean and that is why we moved to El Salvador. You inspire me and I absolutely love reading your posts about surfing and maybe one day I'll be able to try it myself.
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Are you afraid of water? Then I swear that it's possible to get over it π Thing is that surfing keeps you so busy that you have no time to think about anything else. It requires a lot of concentration, since you have to do uncountable things at the same time. In the beginning it's all about finding the balance. The water loses its drama soon, believe me. There will come a point in time when you just start loving it π
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Yes, I am afraid of the water (deep waters). But like you said maybe one day I'll get over it. I guess I just have to start on small shore waves just to get my balance on the surfing board. I know I would love it, but first I guess I have to start from step 1. Thank you so much for your inspiration and your great comment, greatly appreciated.
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When you start learning to surf you don't even enter the deep water. You always remain at the shore. You should really give it a try :-)
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Thanks. I will definitely try it as soon as I go back to El Salvador to my beach. By the way, have you ever been surfing in El Salvador? People say that El Salvador has the best surfing waves and they had few surfing championships in El Salvador.
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Wooo super post ;)
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Muchas gracias!!! Disfruta de tu finde π
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The sad part is getting old and realizing that destiny is something that you tried to make happen and change again and again and you may have failed multiple times. Once you get past a certain age it's hard to continue to want to try to change. It's like swinging a bat that is gradually getting shorter and shorter and you realize you may never actually be able to hit the ball with it. We have to tell ourselves that it's important to try.
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These are wise words, @jeezzle!
What happened to me is that I thought that "destiny" hat prepared a completely different life for me. When I was studying at the University I believed that I would become one of these career women. My plan was becoming a consultant, earning hundreds of thousands of dollars per capita, living in a huge house and driving an expensive car. But then I gradually discovered that this wasn't MY life but just an IDEA of it.
Now when I meet my friends from Uni who chose the above described way and are top earners with big houses, fast cars and a fat bank accounts today, then I smile. I'm happy for them, but I know from the botton of my heart that I wouldn't change only one day with them....π
It's inside all of us, we only need to let it out.
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Thank you for a great post, I like it!
I tried surfing once and I just fell forward swallowing few gallons :P
But I really wanna try it again ^^
Please check my new post, I think you will like it!
@paps
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Oh during one single surfing session I usually drink like 2 liters of salty water. That's normal!!! Haha
Step by step you learn how to hold your breath for a long time, and then you can dive without any trouble. Falling into the water is an essential part of surfing, like paddling, getting wet or being outdoors.
That's a really interesting article! Gave you my vote and follow you now π
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Thank you for following, I made sure I followed you as well π
I promise that I will try surfing again one day!
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I bet you won't regret it :-)
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you are actually so right @surfermarly - you need to find your passion in life, something you burn for, something which is located deep in your heart! And if you don't do things you burn for, you will always have a little unsatisfied feeling deep in your subconscious mind! :-)
I wish you a great weekend!
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Thank you! You are right... Sometimes we need a friend or family member to point out that undiscovered talent (hey, why don't to try ... I bet you'd become very good at it.). Sometimes they see more from the outside than we are able to perceive from the inside...
Have a great weekend, too!
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I like your love friday article....
I followed and upvoted...
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Thank you Robert!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Have a great weekend π
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I've spent the last 6 months surfing around and there's nothing quite like dropping in on a glassy right
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True story!
Where is your home spot located if I may ask? Do you wanna be on our steemit surfing map?
https://steemit.com/surfing/@surfermarly/spotting-steemit-s-surfers-and-designing-the-first-community-map-here-s-my-local-wave
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Blacks Beach in San Diego is my daily. Sure thing!
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Love it!
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Rich Simmonds tweeted @ 03 Jan 2015 - 09:28 UTC
Disclaimer: I am just a bot trying to be helpful.
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i have just upvoted your amazing story @surfermarly .. i'll be happy if you wanna see my page
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If you would make a post of yourself surfing, you will get my upvote. Will you?
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I love your love friday article @surfermarly . i can't imagine how amazing to Surf the waves..
love yours article my sister
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Nice post. I like your post. Iam from Indonesia
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Hey @ilyasismail from Indonesia! Thanks for stopping by and leaving these kind words.
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This post has received a 3.75 % upvote from @lovejuice thanks to: @abh12345. They have officially sprayed their dank amps all over your post rewards. GOOD TIMES! Vote for Aggroed!
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Wow that was great to know you really living life on the edge :D
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great post
follow me @sairahamdan
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I love your story. It's really never too late to do anything. Great post! Resteeemed and followed! :))
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Thank you :-) I'm glad you felt inspired.
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Man surfing is definitely on my bucket list.
I like how the water and waves are like music for the surfer/dancer.
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Everybody should try it at least once :-)
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I hope so. Soon!
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