How can you get over a break up?
Two words: time and perspective. It's easy to think "this is the greatest love I will ever have" or "I can't find anyone better than this person" when someone breaks up with you. You, however, deserve someone who truly wants to be with you, and you shouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.
A breakup can be a period of feeling great loss, similar in some ways to the feeling of grieving someone's death. It's no coincidence that so much of popular culture (movies, songs, books, magazines, etc.) revolves around stories of heartbreak, because it's something that almost everyone can relate to.
The interesting thing about emotional wounds is that internally, we know for certain that they are there, but they don't come with physical wounds that allow us to see how well they're healing with our eyes. This can lead us into believing that we are healed, making defense mechanisms like hookups, rebounds, new relationships etc. very tempting to dive into in order to substitute the past. Though this isn't the healthiest thing to do as it can make one feel even more empty inside, or leading one to unconsciously compare the other person to the new partner.
If a person doesn't take the time to self-reflect and try to examine themselves and their behaviour objectively, they're likely to keep repeating the same patterns over and over again with the new partner. working to obtain self knowledge in post break-ups is crucial. "self knowledge comes into being when we are aware of ourselves in relationships - and relationships are mirrors in which to see ourselves as we actually are. but most of us are incapable of looking at ourselves as we are in relationships because we immediately deny or accept critics to protect the identity that we like to believe we are (ego), but never do we observe "what is." ~ J. Krishnamurti.
Here are 4 Tips to help you reflect the breakup:
- Don’t Contact Them… At All
- Write A ‘Positive’ Learning List
- Write A ‘Negative’ Learning list
- Make A List Of Where You Fell Short.
With Love,
Your Superior Mind
Although the content in this post was accurate I don't believe your fact, is a Fact. Each person heals differently. I have been hung up on my ex since 2015 and yes I do not contact him I always wonder what could have been or what would happen if we were to talk again. We have both grown to be different people and I doubt we'd be any good for each other now but he still never leaves my mind or heart. So yes, this may be true for some relationships but a lost love will never be forgotten.
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I agree with you. Everyone has a different way of healing and experiences past relationships differently. I believe you've out grown your ex to come to a position to occasionally wonder how he is doing, in a healthy way, without losing much sleep about it. A lost love, especially first love, wont indeed be easily forgotten. I experienced the same. The post seems a bit controversial, but i hope it can bring some perspective to those who havent had a closure yet. Even after 17 months and 26 days, (and counting).
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Hi! I am a robot. I just upvoted you! I found similar content that readers might be interested in:
https://www.quora.com/How-long-does-it-take-to-get-over-an-ex
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Where did find that stat? I find it very interesting - it really does take a long time to heal. We weren't made for break ups.
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