When I was very little my grandmother died. I liked her but I was never very close with her because she lived in a different country. We went on a trip to go to her funeral and at the time I wasn't sad because I didn't know her that well and I was excited to be back in my favourite place. At the funeral everyone cried and I couldn't understand it.
A few months passed and one day in class my favourite church song, the one they played at her funeral, started playing on YouTube. I started bawling my damn eyes out and I realized I was crying because I never got a chance to be close with her. Sometimes you can't cry at the time because you haven't processed or don't understand but sometimes your body needs it.
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