"Beautiful are those whose brokenness gives birth
to transformation and wisdom." - John Mark Green
There was a time in my life that I would have looked at this leaf and thought...oh, how sad, this would have made a great picture if only that piece wasn't broken. My striving for perfection in all that I did began to wear on me about a 15 years ago. It was quite unnerving as I started to feel myself crumbling and I wasn't quite sure why. I was experiencing moments that were less than stellar as a wife and a mother. I had lost who I was to the point of not even being able to recognize myself.
About 4 years ago, things began to change and I started to reconnect with my true self, not the one that was trying to fit into a particular mold created by someone else. It was both freeing and terrifying. No more laying blame. This was when I started to begin to understand what loving myself meant. It's not throwing myself a parade everyday and blowing sunshine up my own ass. It IS doing the hard work of facing the things I thought were causing me to crumble, observing them, putting them in their place and moving on to the next. The tricky part for me was doing this work gently and with grace. This process is on going and I thankfully granted myself an immense amount of latitude.
There is obviously much I am leaving out of this story that I will perhaps share another time. I just know that I am on a much healthier path...a beautifully messy path that is my own. I can feel the sunshine and, who knows, maybe one day I will throw myself a parade. If I do, you will all be invited.
Photos previously posted at:
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008940904112
https://www.instagram.com/samanthajbarnes/
Great picture of life : )
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Thank you!
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: ) Samantha if you want to follow me I will follow you too. : ) Harj
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Good for you! A fabulous story of rebirth. Cheering and tossing confetti!
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I'm so glad I woke up and realized I was the author of my story. Looks like you ready for that parade. :D
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my words and leave a comment. That is such an encouragement.
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The crumbling part does feel crazy but it is so cool as it settles down into a truer pattern. Good for you. You understand the beauty within the imperfections. Nice Job!
"There are cracks in everything. And that's how the light gets in." LC
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That settling down is such a gift after all the thrashing about. The Leonard Cohen quote is so simple but powerful. Thank you for leaving such a kind and uplifting comment. It means a lot.
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I recognized and understand what you wrote. I have some experience with that very thing. Your post real so I know something of your soul. It too is real. Peace and love and liberty.
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Thank you very much that. Being real was my intent. P&L&L to you too!
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I even have that on a t-shirt! ;)
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O cool!
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Nice shot!
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Thank you very much!
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