Octarine Project level 3 - Breaking through with Ellis

So after some months of practicing the abilty of seeing octarine, i started feeling that i'm stuck, and i need a breakthrough. Then came Chelseanacht with it's crazy tales and i felt ready to take a leap, so i took some of the finest changa from a real close friend and went home to complete the ritual. After i got home safely and completed the ritual, i was so fucking exhausted that i couldn't even take a shower, so i decided to wait with the changa for the next day.
I had some deep feeling coming from Doombringer so i decided to call him for help in this ritual. I filled the bong with as much changa as i could, leaving only a few grains aside, put the bong away and started calling 663. I felt his presence and took the bong, ready to hit, but then i heard him telling me no. I put the bong away and he told me to take the leftover grains and put them in the pipe, and smoke that, so i did and immediately felt his presence stronger. He told me i feel right, and he does have something for me, and we shall work together at some point, but not on that project, so i should pack my stuff and leave his temple, never to come back again with this topic. I thanked him, said goodbye and see ya, banished and went to sleep, too tired to even think of trying something new at the moment. Some stuff are just not meant to be...
The next day i spent contemplating on ways to direct the power of the ritual to the benefit of the octarine project. First things first - i created a sigil. I combined three sigils in the process, the LS, the Octarine sigil and my Mind Opener sigil which is this one:

^^Mind Opener sigil

Ultimately creating this:

^^ Multisigil i like to call "Aum Ellis Octarine"

After completing the multisigil i saw a notification on facebook. Some dude named Alexander had posted something in the FB group of the DKMU. In his post he was explaining a bit about the DKMU godforms, how to approach and treat each of them, what to ask each of them etc... and a sentence there really got my attention: "Sigils of a more octarine nature may be attained from Ellis". I remembered Ellis was helping me conceive the Mind Opener sigil and something clicked, so i sent this Alex a message telling him a bit about the project and how asking 663 for help has failed, then asked him what can he tell me about Octarine and Ellis. His response was: "Nothing except Ellis is pure magick, the point and focus of her always was, the other godforms represent different styles of magick but Ellis is pure octarine. The programming being: make the world a more magickal place". I got chills reading that so thanked him and told him that this was exactly what i needed to hear at this moment.
I took the bong that was already packed and started calling Ellis while entering meditative state. I felt her presence and she told me i don't need to perform any fancy rituals for her, like others (ehm 663 ehm) might demand, and we should just get to business, but first she wants to show me something so she told me to open facebook. I was like "Facebook? Right now? For real???" and she told me "Yeah, do it ,trust me". So i open facebook and see that Alexander has posted another post to the DKMU group right fucking now, telling us about how Ellis gave him some sigils in Chelseanacht, and he feels safe to share one right now, a sigil called "To attain gnosis through the use of substance." right fucking NOW - moments before i smoke the bowl of magic and teleport to a meeting with the red queen herself. I opened the image of the sigil so that it is the only thing on the screen, put my notebook with the multisigil right next to it, took some deep breaths..... And right before lightning up realized i need an auditory sigil as well, a mantra, that way i will be able to focus even more. So i came up with the mantra "Aum Ellis Octarine", lighted up the bowl and took a dive into fractal-land.

^^"To attain gnosis through the use of substance". Or as a friend of mine likes to call it - "Distorted girl sigil".

To my surprise, i landed in hell. It was like modern day Dante's vision, full of sorrow and agony. The horrors i saw are indescribeable, and i think it's for the best. All over the place were figures, grumpy, angry, suffering, scraming, cursing and shouting at each other and at me, telling me that i am far away from safety, i took a huge wrong turn in my path, magick? octarine? this shit is nonsense, go get yourself some real life or you'll end up just like us, kiddo. I got scared and confused but the first thought that came to mind was the mantra "Aum Ellis Octarine", and i look around and experience this madness, starting to feel the crack of doubt, and then i saw Ellis, and felt hopeful again, but she was shouting at me as well, telling me it was WAY too bold for me to come here with this demands, who the fuck do i think i am?? Wanna be a mage??? For sorcery you give blood, boy! You have no place in here!
So i was totally confused and scared but then i heard a voice coming from within me telling me it's all just a game they playing, a test, if you will, for my ability to focus, so i immediately started chanting "Aum Ellis Octarine" again and again and got completely calm. The fussing and fighting and screaming and shouting got stronger and stronger, the horrors i witnessed escalated to a degree where the former "hell" was a frigging heaven compared to this fear-zone, but as the madness rise, i stay peaceful and calm , i tell the entities and Ellis that i accept everything they deliver, and that i am willing to give blood and even more for my path, and chant again "Aum Ellis Octarine, Aum Ellis Octarine, AUM ELLIS OCTARINE!!!" with stronger and stronger intention until everything cools down.
I found myself in some kind of a hall filled with knowledge. There were kinds of infinite drawers on some infinite cabinets, containing infinite knowledge each, every piece of knowledge that ever occured in someone's mind, every piece of knowledge that ever will. Maybe it was the Akashic Records, i honestly don't know. I hear a voice telling me i can stay here, learn whatever secret i desire, and even bring it back to the mundane, but the voice from within me told me it's just another test, another way of distracting me from my path, first they'll go for what you fear, then they'll go for what you love. "You're over with reading about magick" said the voice, "Now it's time for you to fucking DO magick". So i started chanting again "Aum Ellis Octarine" and found myself face to face with the red goddess.
The hall of knowledge was long gone, we where at some dark place and Ellis was cheering me. She said she's proud and that i have passed her test, and now she will grant me with a special gift - the ability to "paint" octarine. She told me to draw a line in the air so i raised my right hand and did, but nothing happened. She told me that i hesitated and i should be confident, because without confidence there is no magick. I raised my hand as confident as i could and draw a line in the air, still nothing happens. She told me "Try the left hand" so i did but still, not a fucking thing. Then she told me i have to stay focused or it will never work, that was the whole point of her test earlier so i just need to be 100% focused on my goal.
I started rubbing my magick amulet with my right hand while letting the left hand rest, then took a moment to focus. I saw the octarine sigil in my 3rd eye chackra, bright and pumping energy, i focused on that sight and on the mantra of "Aum Ellis Octarine", sending the sigil more and more energy, more and more power, and it was pumping and pumping harder and harder, then started sending energy down the energy channels in my body. The channels were completely blocked, but the bursts of octarine power were so strong that after some struggle they managed to cleanse the channels all the way down, until the octarine stream has reached my bottom chackra and merged with the Kundalini energy. The octarine sigil in my 3rd eye was sending power down, the Kundalini was sending power up, they merged, creating a huge "ball" of energy that made my entire body shake like crazy. The feeling was of intense, raw and pure power, and it reached my left hand making it twitch in the air, creating a large and bright octarine line in the middle of the air in front of me.
I was shocked and amazed but Ellis rushed me and half-mocked me: "why do you even waste your time on astonishment? For a sorcerer those stuff are completely normal, nothing out of the ordinary, now complete this line and make it a sigil". I told her she's right but which sigil should it be? The first one i paint using octarine?. Ellis just looked at me half disappointed half amused by human stupidity, noding her head while doing "hmmmm....". Then i was like "Oh! Shit! You're right!" and i went on to try and finish the LS. The struggle was hard as fuck, i mean, imagine this stream of energy like electricity, and whenever i'm focused - the stream flows from the energy spots to my hand and onto air, But every other thought i have is like turning off the octarine switch for a moment, and every now and then a thought comes to me about how crazy is this and how i'll tell this to other people and so on, and every thought blocks the stream, shuts it off, so the lines were not solid, and i had to re-paint it over and over and over again like a million times, and it was tough as shit, but finally i did it, and a gigantic LS was hovering above my head, shining bright with octarine colors.
I was exhausted and amazed, back in my room, Ellis was long gone, the DMT effect wore off already but the sigil was still there. I felt such gratitude and bliss that i started laughing, got up to a sitting position, saw my notebook with the multisigil and laughed harder, then i saw the crazy distorted girl sigil of Ellis and Alex on the computer screen, and laughed even harder, closing the picture to discover, to my complete awe, that the time now is exactly 3:33 am. Fucking Ellis.
I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, washed my face, then came back to facebook to send Alex a thank you message for this experience. I did it and went to bed, exhausted but couldn't sleep. Then i heard, to my amazement, that voice from within me telling me i'm not done yet. That i should draw another sigil no matter how tired i am, no matter i'm sober; it's even better that way, prove yourself you can do it whenever wherever in whichever state of mind.
So i did it, and it was tough as fuck, way harder than before, and took way more time. By the time i was done the sun was up already, laughing at me. But i did it. The process was much harder, the outcome was way more pale, but by the end of this epic "night" i fell asleep like a dead body, diving into some crazy intense and vivid dreams, when the sigil of Lucas, my dreaming servitor, is hovering above me, shinig mildly in octarinish tones, and right next to it a gigantic LS, bright as the sun.

^^ Lucas Lucas come to me :)