Being Fat and The Way It Changed My POV in Life

Since I'm little, I've been called "Fat" for most of my life. I have a "Yo-Yo" up and down in losing and gaining weight. People around me will tease me every time they see me drink something with milk or eat something heavy. They put the pressure on me since I'm a girl and it would be hard for me to find a husband or won't be accepted in certain group or circle of people. They manage to make me feel down and I have a very low self-esteem back then.

During my school and university years, my peers will tease me or dictate that I'm not eligible to befriend or join in their "glamour, famous or sorority" group because of my size and I'm not good in dressing up. So most of the time, I usually love to sit on my own and do the things that I love. I do meet with a lot of guys that at first attracted to me because of my personality but after a while, they got bored and say that they want to break up because of my apperance, I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not good enough and bla..bla..bla..they said.

To me I dont loose anything because to me they are the ones that are loosing. Of course, as the pain of being outcast and being teased is so intense, I have been living my life with the principle of - " You had your one chance, Once you blew it or mess it up, I will not let you to cross my life path anymore". I had experience to be single for almost 5 years and live my life going around alone, I determine to go on a very strict diet and I jogged twice daily. No Gym Memberships or Diet Pills. I also joined a dance club and had 2 hours of dance routine almost every night.

With strong determination, I manage to go down from 70kg to 39kg. Until I decide that 39kg is not my suitable BMI so I plump myself up to 50kg. Along the way, I can see people who outcast me before came to me like ants attracted to sugar. These made me realize how people, we humans are so blind and only attracted to beautiful things. They failed to see the inner beauty of a person or things that they had. With this, I manage to filter my group of friends and to keep toxic people out of my life. I don't want expensive branded things, luxury homes, fancy vacations just to impress people who are plastics. If you ask me what I aim for or what I want to be??. The answer will always be - "I just want to be Happy and Enough"

Here is the photo of me during my "Fattest Vs Thinnest" photo....:)

Now, I try to be vegetarian most of the days and have cheat days for having poultry/meat. I cut out my addiction to sodas especially Coke. I will have a bread with peanut butter spread or a Weetbix Breakfast Biscuits and a cup of coffee for breakfast. For Lunch / Dinner - Bread/Buns/Sandwich/Salad. And I replace white rice to brown rice only...So far I able to maintain still.