If You're With The Right Partner, It'll Always Be Easy

 I actually heard a coworker (on 3rd marriage) say this. I had to openly chuckle which drew an angry look from her. Then I had to be that old guy (only 49 years old, married since 19 years old) to lay down some wisdom on my millennial friends.

If it's the right person it'll always be easy? Ha!!! That's a good one. I'm married to my friggin soul mate. The mother of my 3 kids. The love of my life. The woman I'd give both my kidneys to if she needed them. The woman I'd give up a spot in heaven and spend an eternity in hell with if she hadn't gotten in. The woman I'd hide bodies for. Take a murder rap for. In other words, I love this woman as much as a human being can love another. She loves me the same. We're truly meant to be together, are lovers, best friends, soul mates.

With all that sappy crap said, has it always been easy? Hell no. Not even close. In fact, it's very hard sometimes. Why? Because life is very hard sometimes. We have had fights over the years. In the heat of anger we've tossed out the divorce word. I've used the I'll pack up my Harley and ride off into the sunset. There have been dry spells in our sex life. There have been periods where in the evenings after work she sat in the living room doing her thing and I sat in the den doing my thing only to join each other to go to bed.

There have been lustful eyes cast on others from both of us over the years. There have been work crushes, work husbands/wives, opposite sex friends that may have gotten a little too close.

There have been money troubles, health issues, job issues, in-laws issues (both sides), children issues, midlife crisis issues (when I bought my Harley), etc.

All kinds of bad things that can derail you along the way. Was it ever easy? Maybe for moments here and there. The reality is it's hard to spend your whole life with one person. It would be easier just to cut and run when it's not easy (as my colleague does, 3rd marriage, still in her 20's). Life would be less complicated if you never got married. Is it worth it? Oh hell yes!!! I wouldn't want to give up 1 minute of our lives. None of the joy, the sorrow, the fights, the making up, none of it. It's a package deal. You take the bad with the good.

We've been married 30 years this year and it has been the most significant accomplishment of my life. My wife is a pain in the ass more times than not and I love her with all my heart. I'm also a pain in the ass more times than not and she loves me.

If it was always easy, it probably wouldn't be worth it. My advice. Love your spouse with all your heart. The good of them and the bad of them. Also, don't sweat the small stuff.I hope the colleagues took in at least a little bit of what I was saying.