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MARRIAGE IS HARD WORK! !!!!!!
I used to interpret the saying "Marriage is not for
small boys" to mean small boys in terms of age,
until I visited a female mentor that has been in
marriage for 47 years.
I asked, so what is the secret of your over 47
years in marriage?
Beaming, she retorted; My son, the expectations
you bring into marriage will either spell its doom
or success. I married my husband without
expectations of enjoying his money or buying
cars for me, but with time, my patience, hard
work and God-fearing attitude yielded results of
getting cars, houses, taking care of our children
and all that.
You see, if a married lady keeps on nagging in
the house, she pushes the spirit of her husband
from the home. If you make the man unhappy,
you make the house uncomfortable.
So, I married without high expectations from my
husband but simply to make him happy always.
Yes, for the past 47 years, I would be the first to
get up from bed and the last to go back to bed. I
bath the kids, do devotions with them, prepare
breakfast for my husband and boil hot water for
him to bath. I iron his clothes he would take to
work, kiss him and wish him the best in his daily
endeavours.
I asked my old woman, so then what does the
man do in return? She laughed all heart and
hearty and replied; You see, this is the mistake
you young ones make in marriage.
YOU DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR HUSBAND OR
WIFE AND EXPECT SAME REWARD FROM HIM
OR HER, THIS IS WRONG!
When it becomes your attitude to only please
your husband or wife always, the other person
responds naturally. Indeed, if nothing touches the
palm tree, it doesn't rattle.
She continued, my son, never carry "how rich or
poor your family is" into marriage. After all, you
knew very well the status of your family and
decided to marry that man or woman.
Love only compels/leads would-be couples into
marriage but it doesn't sustain marriage. Rather,
understanding, patience, communication and
most importantly, forgiveness sustain every
marriage. High expectations are the symptoms of
divorce in marriages.
Sometimes you hear, I want to marry a mother, a
business partner, God fearing person etc. You
cannot get all your expectations in one person.
With time and depending on your relationship,
you may get some. So minimise your
expectations in marriage.
To cut the long story short, as too many cooks
spoil the broth, she concluded on the mistakes a
couple should resist at all cost in marriage:
- Never say you have made your wife or
husband somebody from a nobody. It hurts. God
only used you as an agent for transformation,
give the glory to God. - Let the man be head of the home no matter
the financial, economic,
physical and emotional health situation prevailing
in the couple's life whilst the woman exercises
diligence in the use of the tongue. - Having children should not be the ultimate
objective in marriage. They are given to enhance
your marriage. When God delays in giving you a
child, have every reason to live a happy marital
life. - Sex is a major morale booster after a hard
day's stressful life. Try to be sexual beings and
not "Angels" in that marriage - Resort to God often and less to men to solve
your marital disputes. - Let the women " Make up" their characters
much more than they make up their body.
Indeed, marriage is not for small boys because
small boys struggle to forgive, demand everything
speedily, lack the patience to wait, have so many
friends etc.
Make every effort to let that marriage work and
may God help us.
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Nice reading!!!