Did you ever question about life??

I mean really question, things like why are we here? Where do we come from? Have we been born before.
All my life I have been scared of death, the ultimate fear that when we die, there is nothing there. After all I can't remember from the time I was conceived or even before that, so why should I think that when we die there is something beyond it.

So I started to search for some answers.

(Credit: Amazon)

At the moment I am reading a book by Shirley Maclaine called Out on a limb.. This was a book written about Shirley's on quest for questions about life and death.
I remember watching the TV movie years ago and dismissing it as some 90's new age fangled thing. At the time I was deeply religious, my mother had passed away and my father and I were introduced to the pentecostal church.
Though later in my life I walked away from my path because I had some deeply troubled issues that I could not deal with easily, and lost confidence in the thought of God being the creator of all things and loving people wholly. To be honest, to me it was not enough to fill my desire deep down I thought there had to be more to life than getting wings and having a halo.
I decided to watch the movie again the other night being more adult now, and being able to take it in more. Whilst I watched it, certain words called out to me such as things like god-force, vibration, meditation and trance channeling Many people are open to something called The Secret created by Rhonda Byrne, and when I watched that I thought that most people would reject such a concept, to think of something and the universe moves, to make it happen.
Still it had not sat right with it, that was until I watched and learned about a Channeller called Esther Hicks who channels someone called Abraham.
Many people go to speak to Abraham about different life questions, the thing that impresses me so much is Abraham gives them the answer without having to give it any thought, and many of the answers (even though I don't agree with all of them) do make some sense in some way. To me probably more than I ever did with christianity.
Abraham talks about Law of Attraction and how we should use meditation every day to focus on pure positive energy, to let go of the negativity and embrace positivity, which they say will align you with something called source energy.
I could not believe how closely related the subjects were after reading and watching out on a limb, that something I had watched years before had come back full circle to now.

I have a hunger I cannot satisfy.

(credit Power of positivity)

This is probably going to sound the strangest thing, but its true I have a hunger that I cannot satisfy, what ever I feel that my body desires, the need is still there.
I honestly believe, in my own opinion that right now I have to meditate, I don't know why or for how long I need to do it, but like the writing of the book this now won't leave my head.
So every night for fifteen minutes I am trying to meditate, and I feel when doing it like I am there but im not there at the same time.
Like im not in the room, they say when you meditate to focus on your breathing and every time you get a thought let it go and return to your breathing.
Tonight is the third night I have meditated and even though I could not see it, I got a picture of brilliant bright gold light around me, like the start of a sunrise.

I don't know why but when I finished meditating tonight, I had the urge that I needed to put this down. So now I wonder am I about to embark on some spiritual quest that I had no idea about, or is all of this just coincidental at this point in my life.
The only way I can think of it is where I am now in my life, I have few worries really but more importantly I have time to think, and are these thoughts opening up something more?
Either way now these questions have arisen for me, I can only go on to try and find the answers.

The words I have written are from my own findings, there are not meant to cause harm or any disrespect to other persons beliefs and interests. I have the utmost respect for what you believe in I do hope to be able to give you further updates on my findings.