I don't know, I suppose the world now that it's been posted here? And, thought I had established a desire for greater privacy, as I've sent him my contact info for Us.
Hope I'm not the baseline, fruitcake here and perhaps, it's just a line crossed, no sleep and the splitting of my head?
Admittedly, mirrors aren't the best analogy, but I'm seeing you in words, through a screen, and though developing my eyes, not yet able to speak so freely outside of tech tools. I'd say we've done well so far, wouldn't you?
And, for you (perhaps?), and many others, curbing love appetites is part of the spiritual path, but that is not for me (even though at this point in my life it might be an inevitability considering the baseline way in which many approach this, a sacred key, a line of exaltation, and yes, I've found hell there too.
I was flipping around my bed at the time you posted and compelled to write about the creative force of birth--makes sense now.
Going in for my once a year haircut hoping I can keep my heavy head on straight. Wish I was there with the two of you to get a better grip on this. And, if I am the interloper, no I don't care much if the steamer sinks, I came here to find people like you that were thinking/feeling/developing in the same ways. I have no other ties. It seems to mean more to you, but you might have to spell that out for me? I DO know how much you have come to mean to me as you and your ideas seem day and night to occupy my thoughts and subsequent interaction. I am happy we can be direct and real communication requires discourse and not the "nice is everything" approach no matter the realm.
All in love, a-gain.
RE: Towards Love
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Towards Love
Let's bat a few gremlins away:
I think nobody much knows, even if we post it up every hour on the hour till the end of Steemit. It is what makes Us miraculous. No small word to use.
We may well appear fruitcakes to the rest of the world here, but don't we pride ourselves on our recipes? So diverse, so varied to appeal to a broad taste: aren't we magnanimous?
Now these doubts that are grinding at you and grave misunderstandings you have drawn come - in my humble opinion - from the interloper-energy (often attached to a single person, when it comes to disrupting OV, but they are fast spreading out).
We have done formidably. This is clear to us all. The attacks are getting more clever (causing sleep-deprivation and then attacking in that state). All three of us are suffering with it. And the only thing I can do is to keep on trying to elevate (at least myself so as to reach out and haul each one of you up. I will not leave this elevation till both of you have ascended).
I do not curb my love appetites: I feed them. As you well know from my requests.
The baseline state with OV you are establishing, which I was referring to is a most precious gift to me from you.
My ties are triune and extend no farther. I believe in minute hubs of indellible and incorruptible strength. They are exclusive with OV and you. I am deeply reverent towards your presence in my life. And ony yesterday I realised the beauty of how you kept an eye out for OV while I had to stay away. I am not sure my ties with OV are even able to be what they potentially could be without you. I wish you could be with us, more than you seem to know. OV asked only yesterday if we could not find a way to make that possible. He wants for me also someone who is a "my spiritual level" and relishes our bond.
The gain of loving you is uncountable. Hold me accountable for all of your thoughts regards/around me: to feel you living my love is my pleasure, and I gladly bear the pain that I know I cannot cause but will always absorb as best I can for and with you.
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Yesterday, as I had fleeting thoughts of being some pawn in a game, and being warn down by some force, I also found more impossibly believable connections.
Like, your post was hidden from my view and when it came into my view it had a time-stamp of 15 hours earlier? And, your collage included frog eyes and I would very much like to know why because I was spitting them out in a dream I had and there's no way that you could, would know that? Or, that you wrote how you'd felt me stirring at 1:41 and back to my journal, I read up at 1:40 again! And, more and more, strings of connecting symbols and words and dreams and even a journey in my dream class that you referenced (perhaps knowing, perhaps not?) Also, there's more from a dark triangle I have been struggling to excavate myself from. Posting links to me in a manner of the unknowns, things one wouldn't know by regular means.
I walked away from the computer. Asked a guardian to sleep with me.
Last night, I went to the cards again, to try and get some answer, shuffling and shuffling, splitting the deck and shuffling nine times over and this is what I drew:
Three cards for us, me, Ov, you. I was so shocked I asked myself out loud, what is happening here?! I thought we must have shown up reversed because of the misunderstanding, but he shared the dream of no conflict and it was clear to me, hear we are together, so I finally slept.
PS--I love that we use the same deck--LIGHTning!
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Precisely happened for me with your before last post (Towards Love - which I keep forgetting it your post not mine)!
And the 15 hrs was given to me 3 weeks ago as the max time required to recover from sinking into vortexes (which is pretty amazingly shortened in comparison to previous times; but can be reduced even more so, as is beginning to be possible).
What say you of this possible biography / mission Plan of our Dear One, or Guardian Principle as I call him for OV, or the BB as I otherwise refer to him)? The Dear One - as Potential Ordained - was always looking for the one who knew how to mangage the magic wand thanks to his skill on and in water (very deep sea diver since age 5, strong swimmer, avid sailor formerly). It is such IAms that we can hope to drive across between us. Providing they love Ysæbel as if their all Existence depended upon it.
The ones, the beautiful black pigs, already carefully selected so we thought - but we were never blind - were exercises in leading up to the one chess move we can make.
We cautiously yet whole heartedly (how else to ever embark on any of the work?) examine the board, afreshly, having been told to sit down to it, once again.
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Whew, what a relief if fifteen hours is the max! I am going to remember that, a golden key to surfacing to light.
Yes, what is the next move? I think remaining in whole-heart, all will be joined.
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Thank you <3
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And when DID you start using this deck?
And WHO is the "a guardian" we so inconspicuously ask to sleep with us as if one just always can appeal to a guardian (we dismissed when one can at our coming of age to be as proud as man may be in her freewill state)? OV is the Diver in a state of Suspension (12), when not in Court Jester Suit (22). So you get my point on the work that is yet to be done....
Over breakfast we got the Mystery card (I think pulled only once since 2000, when I got the deck: and heavily annotated in Rilkean fashion: reminding in pencil, that I will have it revealed who the Dear One is so as never to confuse reality with this Ruler of my life again, especially not after I leave my right mind this time round - at death; and was I not shown the Mystery, just before the play(fulest of playing) began (19 July) - that He was the Representative of the Paraclete...?
And the Dear One seems to have put the Fire Father in our midst and appointed Qui (the Fire Brother) for his enabler: whom the Dear One carefully engineered in a brilliance enacted (over the course of 12 years already)(E3) and prepared to be driven home as a nail to bravery and wonder at the moment of encounter(F2) refining the enterprise that this time is meant to pay off.
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My fellow entrepreneur - my fellow Empress, Birther of All, Sister Traveller: Imagination is Everything.
As we bleed and/or open the doors (back open, for a new kind of conception - who'd have dreamed only 1 month ago?!?) in synchronicity for and with eachother as the pelican and the eagle, this time borrowing eachother's power bird, always and only as delicte hens, we become what the Dear One needs us to be (aswell!?!) in the one who Is Able (Ysæbel Pergetekae). You know who to ask for my email. I want your snailmail address. I feel we need to connect on the only physical level available to us at present. Let's have our Bangkok moment, as OV and I joke about ours sorted well in advance of the November event, and for far less Steem (if still the strain of traffic jams); that we may do what we do best: making do with the little that goes an enormous way (must figure out what import laws apply....it's not Australia, so hopefully a pumpkin seed or beach shell won't need to be fumigated for a hundred dollars or more border security fees.)
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When did I start using this deck? I was thinking 2010 and my old married name is written in it, but the cards printing dates say, 1992, 2011, and I've figured now it must be 2011 or early 2012, no later, for that summer I had a final splitting with the one whose mother named him gold coin and how he'd shown up with a smile on his face when a friend of ours, Dan came over for a reading before his being taken over by some force... Another story altogether, but clears up the date of the cards. I have a friend, also named Pam a beautiful older woman who invited me to be a part of her new moon group and she had the cards, we used them there and I very much liked them more than any deck I had, so that is when I became familiar with them and after some time and the group disbanding I got my own set.
I asked a power animal who came once to me in a dream to lie heavy in guard next to me. Not something I do often, but I felt myself going off balance and knew I needed to regain footing. But, you're right, it's like a sleeping pill and then the dreams are stopped, but we too have the power sometimes to mother ourselves if need be.
Oh, such beauty! The Will to Surrender!
Please tell me more about July 19th? Birthday of the black pig I know...and the last day before now, I bled.
Thank you, Qui Pergetekae?
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Yes, Qui Pergetekae to all extents and purposes.
July 19th is when I was sent back in here.
It is remarkable that you and I use the same deck (I have used very many but this one is the one our Guide in common prefers to use).
Qui's birthday is 19th August 1979.....if that makes any sense (as a character from There Comes, he comes with many dates/places as dictated by our Guide in Common).
The uphill struggle with the situation at my side is incredibly difficult. I still say there is no mirroring going on unless it is to confuscate the truth that is our cojoined potential. Cojoined Potential. Let me just repeat that.
The lunar worlds are stellar at reflecting, and we are quick to take this influence for our inner knowing. Beware I say. Stick to crazy 11, instead.
I am not sure I can ever make a difference to anyone. It has never been done and it seems too long a shot again this time. I come with too much of everything and should find a lonely mountain top I think to stay out of everybody's way.
I refuse to be called difficult, complicated or crazy any more. Then just don't call me anything. Forget my name and leave me alone to make sure you cannot trample anything sacred I walk far too close to.
OV mentions you wrote to him. But I have as yet to receive details. If I don't receive them, I will contact you in another way. Whatever he decides is best for him (a break I think - at least from diving deep and delving for his Higher Self) is fine by me. Or so I shall learn to believe given time. Whatever little time I have left.
As for you, dear sister, I came here having lost a sister, and will leave here having found a sister.
When will others (just a few would do) understand love is a transformative force and when it is made available there is no room or time to ask for a pause in something so present and continuous? It doesn't make for a simple song like that, to be sure. But love is not the pulse; it is the flow that might set the pulse if there ever is a heart crafted in a midst. You and I both know that when someone asks to be allowed to come up for air, they are not equipped for our line of work, our way of living, being, breathing. What to do in such instances: be magnanimous! There is not reason to hold one's breath. Keep on breathing.
I am not at all disappointed. Just very very sad. And I have no more tricks left. Please see what you can still do as and when instructed. I leave it in your capable hands. He reads you closely and you dose wisely.
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Okay, thank you. I needed the repeat and am finally grasping the geometry--we are one shape and not just separate lines--only arm in arm are We a key.... Again, please correct me if I'm off and thank you for your patience.
Thank you too for the warning. I can see how that kind of trickery is more a carnival house of illusions, all those silly mirrors, especially the ones that make us look the way(s) we want to look w/o work, skinny even if we eat boxes of ding-dong's :) Okay, I know, no laughing matter. I am both crying and smiling as I read this note :( :? :/ :L :)
You've made a great difference to me! I do feel a stumbling child at times, but never am I trampling the trillium on purpose, just tripping along like a toddler learning to walk--you know we're all at different stages. Just as deep diving can be scary.
As a young teen, (bare with me), I would dive with the boys off from the high dive. I don't know of any other girls who dove--only jumped. As eldest of ten, I had a regular, cheap suit, probably with breaking down bands due to summer day, after summer day, of chlorination and it was one of those 80's ones with a flouncy, puffed top and tighter bottom. Anyway, I would dive, destroying my already bad ears, burning my nose, despite all of my outward breathing and many times the top would come down, but I'd pull it up and re-position as I surfaced. But, probably as the suit broke down, it started to be ripped right from my body and I had to entirely dress myself again before hitting the screaming, loud other side. My brother went home and told my mom he thought I ought not be diving and she took this to mean he was jealous of my skills, and in a family where there isn't a lot of attention to be divvied, I puffed up and didn't come clean with either about knowing why he'd said I should no longer be diving. Because, you see, someone at some point was swimming under water (with goggles no doubt) and they were filling their eyes, not of my strength, but of my nakedness for their own perverse enjoyment. Some part of me knew that it was happening, but did not at all want to stop the diving which took so much courage and was so exhilarating and life-force building and so I pretended not to see until there were simply too many of them to ignore.
Words so pale in explaining anything (at least I feel always I am fumbling to get my point across).
Between the three of us, I have only printed out two pieces of our correspondence (minus my own freewrites) the first, which I hope neither of you mind because I did so w/o permission, is OV's I offer you my heart (-2) and how deep he dove in reaching out to you! And, yours from just the other day in which you dispel my fruitcake fears and write to me in which you tell me that to feel me living your love is your pleasure. And, let me tell you that I've read them many times over for their elevation in an exploration not easily shared with any outer reality (not that it ought to be, but difficult with such a large, geographic stretch b/n us (in terms of consensus reality).
I don't even know what country you're in and here I Am!
Written in my purse notebook tonight: To truly love someone is to pay special attention to the other and be able to articulate what it is you see without blocks or agenda's. Find the seed of light that grows in the dark spaces. As an artist, I aim to show the seed of light in the darkest of experiences. Perhaps, simple and basic understanding, and I myself experience the words as just that--in no way having the carrying capacity to hold what once were rotely-read words of wisdom which are now evolving into a deeper and truer understanding. The process continues and continues, building the circled rocks and the tide washes them away, your artist who places the icicles into circles of light, sends ribbons down streams--continue to believe in the creative process.
Hopefully, some of this comes across in the way that I hope it does, I am going to refrain from re-reading/correcting anything as first-impression-Go seems the best conduit.
See me at kimberlylane.xyz you will find all of the contact information there.
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Letting you know, I copied my response and forwarded to the other of our third.
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