What is one of the primary differences between healthy, successful people and unhealthy, non-productive individuals? Healthy, successful people can be incredibly skilled at advocating for themselves.

This may look like an employee who actively advocates for the salary and raises that she deserves; or a person who doesn’t say yes to everything and keeps his time and energy for the important things in his life like family and relationships.
Sounds easy right? But why don’t many of us actively advocate for ourselves?

As humans, we all have a fundamental right to advocate for ourselves. However, it can be challenging to know how to do this effectively, especially when we feel overwhelmed or vulnerable. Being your own advocate means speaking up for your needs and wants, setting boundaries, and taking care of your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

This article delves into 10 healthy ways you can advocate for yourself:

Disclaimer: The material found on this website is not a substitute for professional advice, psychotherapy, diagnosis, treatment or psychological care. Content is for educational purposes only.

1. Recognize Your Worth

The first and most important step to advocating for yourself: Recognizing your worth. You are valuable, and your needs and wants matter. When you recognize your worth, you are less likely to tolerate disrespect or mistreatment. Self-worth is a fundamental component of self-care and self-advocacy.

Do you know your worth? If you struggle to know your own worth, Counselling can be a great tool to help re-discover the value that you truly hold.

2. Speak Up for Yourself

Speaking up for yourself can be uncomfortable, especially if you are used to avoiding conflict.

However, it is essential to speak up when someone crosses your boundaries or mistreats you. Be clear, assertive, and respectful when you communicate your needs and wants. It's okay to say no to requests that don't align with your values or priorities.

3. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are guidelines that help protect your physical, mental, and emotional health. They are essential for healthy relationships and self-advocacy. Be clear about what you are comfortable with and what you are not. Setting boundaries can be challenging, but it is essential to communicate them clearly to others.

4. Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is critical for maintaining good mental and physical health.

Take time for yourself to do things you enjoy and to recharge your batteries. Prioritizing self-care also means setting boundaries and saying no to things that drain your energy or cause stress.

5. Build a Support System

Having a supportive network of friends, family, or colleagues can help you navigate challenging situations and advocate for yourself. Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Seek out mentors or advocates who can help you achieve your goals.

6. Educate Yourself

Educating yourself about your rights and options can help you advocate for yourself more effectively. Research your options and ask questions when necessary. Stay informed about the resources available to you. This could like:
Finding good books, articles, blog posts on the topic.
Finding a business coach who can help you navigate your career.
Find a good counsellor who can help you better understand your feelings and emotions.
Finding a good accountant to help you better understand your tax implications and rights.

7. Practice Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a valuable skill that can help you communicate your needs and wants effectively. It involves being clear, direct, and respectful when communicating with others. Practicing assertiveness can be uncomfortable, but it can help you advocate for yourself more effectively.

One way to build the skill of assertiveness is by practicing in little ways in less intense environments. One really basic example could be asking for your meal at a restaurant to be prepared slightly differently than what is normal. The worst they could say is “we don’t do that or there is a charge”.

A more advanced way would be to ask your boss for a dedicated time where you can discuss specific items. Even simply just asking for the time can be the first step to advocating for what you need or want.

How are you practicing assertiveness?

8. Learn From Your Mistakes

Mistakes are a natural part of the learning process. Instead of dwelling on them, use them as an opportunity to grow and learn. Analyze what went wrong and what you can do differently next time. This approach will help you become a more effective self-advocate over time.

For example, you may try to advocate for yourself and find in the process, you get angry or really upset and don’t handle the situation well. Instead of beating yourself up, find a way of evaluating why this topic brought out such a strong emotional response. That way you can work towards having a more resolved and calm response in future, similar interactions.

Counselling Calgary can be a great tool in helping understand and resolve why certain environments or conversations bring out strong emotions.
How to advocate for yourself: Embrace your imperfections

9. Embrace Your Imperfections

No one is perfect, and that's okay. Embrace your imperfections and use them as an opportunity to learn and grow. Remember that self-advocacy is a process, and it takes time to develop this skill.
How to advocate for yourself: Celebrate your success

10. Celebrate Your Successes

Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Self-advocacy is challenging, and it's essential to recognize your progress along the way. Celebrate your successes and use them as motivation to continue advocating for yourself.
In conclusion, advocating for yourself is critical for maintaining good mental and physical health. Recognizing your worth, speaking up for yourself, setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, building a support system, educating yourself, practicing assertiveness, learning from your mistakes, embracing your imperfections, and celebrating your successes are all healthy ways to advocate for yourself. Remember that self-advocacy is a process, and it takes time to develop this skill.

If you find that you are struggling to apply these principles, connecting with a Calgary Counsellor can help determine what hurdles may be getting in your way.