Little Tidbit About Myself - Schizophrenia

There's a reason I don't go out at night. I live in the country, so basically out in the woods. During the day I see these things, quite hard to describe, among the trees, sticking to the shade, the darker the area the more they're likely to be seen. Nobody else sees them, and I'm aware they're a hallucination, but they're so damn real to me. They look real, for all intents and purposes they might as well be real.

At night, there is no major source of light for them to stray away from. When I do go outside, I have as many outside lights on that I can have turned on, and I never go near the edges of the light. I can see them on the edges of where the light meets the dark.

The reason they're hard to describe is they don't have a real determinable look to them. Eyes and shadows inside shadows. Like I said, very difficult to describe something that you can't definitively make out. During the day it's just barely possible for me to see them in the treeline. At night, it's a whole different ballgame.

Like if we were to drive up to the house in the evening after going out somewhere, and we didn't turn the outside lights on prior to leaving, it'll be dark and I'll see several of these things inching ever so close to the car and scatter once the interior light is turned on, just always remaining just outside the edge of where the light meets the dark.

I'm terrified of these things, whatever the hell they are supposed to be. I know they're hallucinations, and I can keep telling myself they're not real over and over, but honestly it doesn't stop the fact that they are very real to me and I see them.

Coincidentally they're not inside the house. It can be pitch dark inside the house, not a single one inside. They're all outside. It's like if they were to come inside, they know they would eventually be trapped in light unable to escape it, so they remain outside where they can recede into the shadows of the woods.