You know what makes me angry?
The fact that we need to make a point about how many women are being raped and sexually abused. We need to point it out (and still get ridiculed).
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We need awareness that women don't have equal rights. We need to know that EVERY woman thinks twice about where she's going when she's alone, how to protect herself.
Then, when something is said and it looks like some movement towards realising exactly how MASSIVE this issue is, we have men saying, yeah but me too.
Yes, some men DO get abused but NOT ALL MEN WALK AROUND WORRYING, BEING CAREFUL, FRIGHTENED FOR THEMSELVES, AND THEIR SONS.
The day that ALL men worry for their safety regarding rape is the day something will get done abut this issue and not before.
That, to me is the point of metoo
Please do NOT think that I'm unsympathetic to men when they are abused. I most certainly am!
I found your blog from your other Me too post. I can see why you are angry. I do realize that you are sympathetic to men. I like to put myself in others shoes in order to understand them. Especially when their actions seem cruel. So here is my take.
1.) Women do not have equal rights, however they have come a long way and are still moving forward.
2.) Men are ashamed deep down inside about their behavior and yet are confilicted with the need to "peacock" for their fellow men. The only way for some of them to deal with theier shame is to try to justify and rationalize their behaviours. You see all men have mothers and some have sisters and daughters.
3.) This is definitly a cultural problem not necessarlty just a gender issue.
Here is a conversation I had with my Stepdaughter. " Scott Nikol claims she was raped last night at the party that she had in the house. I was there and she was drunk and sitting on that guys lap. What did she think was going to happen" said Alexa strangly calm and unsympathetic. " OMG is she ok. Has she notified the police" I said slighty paniced and hurting for Nikol. " I don't know but if you ask me its her own fault" barked Alexa. " Alexa dont you feel for her. This a a terrible thing to happen to someone" I pleaded with her. " This happens at parties all the time. Its happend to me many times, its no big deal, you just move on" she said emotionless. I sat there speechless and stunned.
Well, I contacted the police and they told me that she would have to come forward and it was best if I didnt agitate her. She didnt know that I knew. She decided not to come forward and while we talk about many things she has not told me her story at this time. I hurt for her knowing that she is holding this inside. She had decided to carry mace with her wherever she goes and we all know why
There are so many disturbing things about that story that I do not know where to begin. When I put myself in the young mans shoes that rapped her I wondered what he was thinking. Did he do this violently? Did he think it was really ok? Should I find him and Kill him? She was drunk, did she get the story right? So many questions without answers. A very complicated topic
Awareness and constant discussion is the only answer. In the light of awareness is the only way a solution can work itself out. The fact that men have the reaction thay do makes sense. It comes from guilt and shame an an effort to avoid responsibility. These are the first steps in any process. At least they are thinking about the issue now and it is in their sphere of awarness. I know that this does not allievate your anger and it should not. You are supposed to be angry. You are justified. I am just offering some insight
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Wow! That was an excellent, well-thought-out, brilliantly-observed post. Thank you.
I've only read it once. I'm going to read it again.
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I completely agree with you. I read a comment from a male reader, who expressed his opinion that the "Me Too" thing was "a bit sexist" ... Seriously? He has obviously missed the whole point of it.
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I've spoken to some male friends, about why this and other such campaigns are so ill received, and I don't think it's about a lack of concern for women, or for what they've experienced and will no doubt continue to experience.
The issue they seem to have with it, is that in setting aside a group, 'men', and holding every member accountable for the actions of a few, you don't just unfairly scapegoat men who've done nothing, you also diffuse the responsibility away from the culprits.
As long as the language revolves around 'male culture' and 'locker room talk', the real snakes among us (and there are many), get to continue to act this way, knowing that men in general will be held accountable.
It's a tragedy of the commons.
I don't think men find these campaigns grating because they're indignant at the accusation (although that's likely a part of it), I think most resistance comes from the observation that spreading the responsibility dilutes it, and actually perpetuates the problem.
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And imagine what women feel in the countries were legislation is weak and corruption is high. Or what they felt during medieval period.
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The meme is irresponsible and completely irrelevant. Men are being raped more often and the frequency is growing, because some women are fed up with the actions of men. So they use what they are learning from the men. The "Me Too" campaign is to draw attention to the continuing plight of women around the world. To demean this movement with meme's like that is to continue to spit in the faces of women all around the world. That's my 2 cents.
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@michelle.gent You've always been a role model to me and to see that your heart is also burning to fight abuse in the society is a constant source of inspiration to me to continue my VACA campaign. Truly, girls tend to be the victims of sexual abuse the most in the society and it's a fact that cannot be overstressed or overemphasised, we need to keep preaching against sexual abuse against females because it is more or less becoming a norm in the society. People tend to overlook it nowadays and that is not meant to be. Keep up the good job ma.
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