Personal Thoughts

Today is my birthday. Like all others, I am feeling a little good. But smile on the outside may be fake. The real happiness comes from within, which is missing. For me, it's sometimes tough to fake a smile when I actually feel broken and incomplete from inside.
I am not perfect. No one is. I am an ordinary individual, who is emotional, caring, but lonely. This loneliness sometimes kills me from inside. Due to this, sometimes I make mistakes, which make me regret later.
I have made some amazing friends, online and offline, not a lot, but great persons. They've helped me enough to bring a little smile on my face, or to rebuild myself in evolving as a person. I will not name them, but I dedicate this blog to them, and they know who they are.
Friendship builds a person, but also, loss of a friend, sometimes breaks you from inside. Everyone has his problems in life, and I am no exception. The presence of true friends makes me feel better. But, when one of that true friend is annoyed, how does it feel? Pathetic.
I have also lost some friends, coz of my being over sensitive at times. My online sister, whom I've never met in person, but she means a lot to me, is annoyed. It hurts, and sometimes, as hell. Have tried a lot, but it's around a year, and still she is angry with me.
Almost everyone takes me as a nice, decent person, but being down in the eyes of my bestie, makes me feel guilty.
It's easy to say "Let go, don't think much, engage yourself in other activities a lot" but it is sometimes tough to apply. Mind doesn't keep quiet. It keeps on saying 'You did a mistake. Why did you do it? Why didn't you do something else? Why didn't you think of the consequences before doing those things?'
Sis, if you're reading this, I want to tell you, that I am still the same person you knew 2 years ago, with whom you used to share your stuff and seek advice too. We are friends. Friendship should not end like this. Your friendship is more valuable to me, than my ego. I am sorry for everything. I love you sis. I am there whenever you need. You are not weak anymore, which is good. You have got some new friends, good, but don't forget your old friends and try to understand their side of story too. If you have something, I am there to listen. I will never let you down.
Dear readers, if you have read this far, thank you. If you haven't, never mind. I am not asking for likes or resteems.
If you have similar experience with anyone too, and can correlate with me, you may share in comments. If you are always a winner in relationships, really good for you. If you think you can be my friend, you may follow me and are welcome to share your stuffs.
Lots of love and gratitude,
Rish