But then realize you probably spoiled it. Badum Tss!

Hehe get it guIse. . cuz DAIRY! 🥛🐄

::Audience MOOS err I mean BOOS!::

Uh, we got some MAD COW on our hands!

     To commemorate @whatsup's new milk post / mean tweets campaign, I have decided to finish up this draft that I had from a couple days ago.

    It also coincidentally gave me an idea of a parody of the sbdpotato and burnposts which I suspect will be a lot of fun for the faithful yet disgruntled authors that continue to post on our beloved chain while these starchy boys soak up so many reward shares for literally being a potato.

Let's get some MILK POSTS up in this piece!

_{I don't care if you're lactose intolerant. You'll be fine.}

     Suppose you can say it was created with prophetic insight as I had no idea that milk posts would be in our immediate future. Being that I was able to seemingly predict one thing with some degree of accuracy...

For 10 easy installments of $29.99, I will also share my crypto price predictions so I can make you ME a very rich person.

    My Twitter tale starts out with a retelling of what I thought was quite clever quip in real life while watching a movie ("The Joker") with visiting family.

     Unfortunately, it did not actually receive the fanfare I had hoped for. Maybe a couple pity likes or I'm just being too critical. You be the judge, jury and executioner.

_{(Go ahead. ROAST ME. Make My Day!)}

Where do I think I went wrong?

One of my preeminent character defects is that I have a tendency to sometimes go a little over the top with the things. This can be off-putting for some. I understand and acknowledge this.

    Take this joke for instance. Maybe I'm wrong but think it would have been fine had I not added the /r/thathappened last bit and going all caps on the punchline. I mean think about it. How many comedians do you hear that literally scream the punchline of their joke... EXACTLY

     Reminds me of a story my father would tell me my grandpa would jingle his keys whenever he got to the punchline. That could be an old-school kind of thing and nowadays insecure jokers like me will instead use capitalization and compounding as a their crutch.

     Maybe I thought it would accentuate the humor but, in retrospect, I think it made it go from funny or relate-able to a bit on the cringe side. Probably, went too over the top with the presentation which I tend to do with many things in my life. Sometimes, it's better to just keep things simple and ditch the fluff.

me_irl

As if that wasn't bad enough, I had to go all in on the Albert Einstein reference which is a recurring meme on the /r/thathappened and /r/iamverysmart subreddits

Exhibit A

Exhibit B:

_{I was even so rattled that I tweeted the punchline again.. just in case anybody missed it.}

Conversely, maybe I am hilarious but suffer from the Picasso curse.

     Ahhh yes, to think years after I am dead, my Steem / Twitter feed would be put in exhibit in a gallery. Where caviar eating shit-post connoisseurs delve into the deeper meaning of my ill fated attempts at humor. It tickles my ribs to think about some rich snobs debating what I actually meant by this or that. I do have another theory about my particular flavor and style of humor.

Although I'm not serious about the Davis Tweet Gallery, I will say this...

Not to brag but I am NOT a genius.

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_{Wait for it...}

 

 

 

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That's because I AM a NEAR genius!
::Jingles around keys feverishly::

_{See what I did there? I didn't do the thing you thought I was going to do but then actually did the thing you thought I was gonna do initially.}

And that, my friends, is what you do to take the edge off what may be interpreted as a humblebrag... Pro Gamer Move tier stuff

    Yes, I already know that it's quite ironic that I would reference the iamverysmart meme while making a claim to my own intelligence. To neg on myself a bit, this was before I joined the Marines and I did some very dumb things back then. It's a wonder I am not in jail to be perfectly frank.

     I was a bit of a miscreant and had affinities for certain substances that will not be mentioned. Somehow, I managed to make it through my own hubris to arrive where I am today. I don't know if it was the drill instructor screaming in my ear or an unrelated epiphany. Nevertheless, I managed to make it through a very dark time in my life.

But, on a lighter note, to succinctly express the other shortfall of some of my jokes, I will use a little maymay

     So, let's just call it the Dan Harmon effect whereas subtle forms of humor require a corresponding intellect to really get it. Now, I am not for a second saying my humor is on par with this legend but I will say that at least some of my cleverness is lost because the people that saw it were unable to read the subtext to make the connections.

_{That or I just live in an alternate reality in my mind in which I am actually hilarious!}

But as we all learn throughout our lives...

     Perhaps, I have just gone FULL DAD and I don't even realize it. A bit of background, my dad has a very zany sense of humor which was sometimes off-color growing up while other times were absolutely hilarious. Some of them are pretty bizarre. To fuller understand the magnitude of what I am saying, all you need to do is look at his recent Craigslist ads for appliance repair.

Here is an example of what I mean. He's your one stop shop for washer repair and mildly amusing or dark humor! It's really a roll of the dice ⚄

_{I only wished I had archived his old ads. They were some gems perhaps now forever lost in the black hole of the internet.... Or maybe they are just on his hard drive and I need to get them. I'll do my best.}

     The real bread and butter of my dad's humor was in his storytelling. It really is top notch and I fondly remember him having brother and cousins rolling in laughter. One of my favorites was one I will title the Rattlesnake Ride Share in West Texas(Move over, Uber!) or another one was the "Mexican whorehouse" prank his cousins played on him and my late uncle. There's definitely a bit of risqué stuff but, believe me, it will be worth it.

I can only hope to be half the storyteller he is.

Rewards from this post will be BURNED sent to my wallet AKA POWERED UP.

     By the way, would like for us to make Milk Posts the NEW FRESH PARODY of all those @sbdpotato and @burnposts. Maybe we'll get some milk posts on trending!

Are potatoes also serving outlet for lazy man's curation?

_{Curious why they don't have curation disabled but will be examining blockchain operations to confirm the payouts. I don't doubt people have had good intentions but don't dismiss ulterior motive so gonna write up a lil scripty boi}

Feel free to follow suite with the trend.

     Those posts will be the topic of my next entry so stay tuned, don't forget to follow, vote, resteem and all that jazz if you enjoyed the work. Hope you didn't end up blowing milk out your nostril but then again..

That would mean I did a GOOD JOB! 🥛

Peace Out Homies! ✌🏼

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_{It's much more fashionable than self-voting or voting 🥔s}

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