Awesome post!

I'm currently in the process of working directly for my passion to be realised - being a game developer - and I am also building a study-routine and an excersise-routine, which both feel great as I love doing both things. And finally learning how to code (which, the not-doing-of was putting me down all my life) has really uplifted my life, as I realise I am finally doing something about it, by still removing excuses on why not to do my tasks and by making use of every optimal situation in which I can study and eventually be able to create my dream of making games - to educate, to relax, to get on important world topics - I can do it all by creating video games, which I soon will be able to do :)

So, what I am trying to say with all this, is that I was extremely depressed - so much, as to barely, barely getting out of bed, only living in the dream-worlds of my subconscious - yet now, when I have not only gotten back to university, found my life partner and living with her and our 3 doggocats. I have also started to work on the dream I have always had in my life, but through self-hate always had stopped myself from starting to work on. All this self-hate is getting removed now through acts which lead me closer to realisation of my personal goal. It's so easy, yet so hard to find the motivation - I have tried to get it through alcohol, drugs, punishments, rewards, BUT it turns out, the best solution is the simplest solution - no need of relying on external resources for doing anything - we just have to realise what we truly wish to do through our lives and start working on it. Ten, true motivation and true inspiration and true realisation come. :)