I have not heard of no noise condom, but that was what Deputy President of South Africa, Mr Cyril Ramaphosa held in his hands at the National Assembly. These no noise condoms, claimed Mr Ramaphosa do not make noise during sex, maximize pleasure and come in various colors and flavors. In addition, the no noise condom will help in population control and reducing sexually transmitted diseases.

I am a nobody compared to the Deputy President but I put on my thinking hat to see if I could come out with a better idea to control both the population and sexually transmitted diseases.

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And hey presto, introducing the no sex condom.

And how, you may ask does this no sex condom work. Well, if people are having so much fun using condoms for non sexual activities, will it not lead to eventually a smaller population and less cases of sexually transmitted diseases. I have listed some of the creative uses of no sex condoms.

Condom balloon animals

Imagine how much fun we can in making various types of balloon animals from condoms

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Water Containers

You may have to control your sexual urges but there is no need to control your thirst as condoms make very flexible water containers.

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Decorative Lightnings

Some people prefer to have sex in the dark. Why not let your creative juices flow, and instead light up your house with decorative condom lightnings. This would make an excellent conversation topic compared to your sex life.

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Flexible Wrapper

A practical use of condom is to wrap it round your weapon to keep it clean. By the way, I am referring to a rifle

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Sex Bandage

Instead of indulging in sexual bondage, the sex bandage is more useful and can be used to keep your hand or other parts of your body dry and clean. Instead of being inflicted with pain, the sex bandage will protect you from pain.

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