If you had a Dad like mine you would surely understand what I am going through.
We never really spoke much, except about Sport, music and Movies but he surely had a great presence.
Not one to judge or ridicule or even argue....That was moms job. And she did it really well.
But dad was something else, everyone loved him, fondly known as old Tom, Mr T, or just plain Tommy.
He loved fish, especially Snoek (Baracuda)...........He got the nickname Tommy 7`s on account of him finishing 7 medium sized fish in one day.
Always had a smile on his face, never argued or disagreed with anyone. He would just walk away if confronted. Dont get me wrong, he was no walk over at all. A gentle giant if you will. An unseen Warrior. sadly he succumbed to Cancer within 10 months of his 80th Birthday and sadly passed on.
He had a great love for Comics, Marvel, DC and some others too. Spiderman and Conan were his favourite.
Movies - Lord of the Rings, Avatar, anything to do with Super Heroes and Colourful Villians.
Music - Johnny Mathis was his all time favourite, among others, Nat King Cole, Sergio Mendes, Carly Simon, Dionne Warwick, Barbara Streisand to name but a few.
Christmas time was by far the best to be around him, There he would be decorating the Christmas tree or cleaning up the garden all the while Johnny Mathis voice could be heard while he enjoyed an ice cold one or a double portion of Brandy or Whiskey........with ice. All the neighbours loved him. He walked everywhere, greeted everyone with a smile and a nod and always stopped for a quick chat.
How I miss him. His end was most dignified, quiet and content, he never complained of pain or discomfort at all.
He just lay there and waited anxiously for me to come and massage his legs and calf muscles that had been reduced to nothing more than skin and bone. Then he slept like a baby.
We had to wash him 3 times a day just to ensure that he did not develop any bedsores or infections. Other than that no complaints. He needed nothing more than peace and quiet around him and soft light.
He passed away on the day that I decided to go back to work. The news came at 13.30pm and even though we had expected it to be much sooner, it still hit me like a ton of bricks.
He had finally gone home. We laid him to rest a day before his 80th birthday on the 05 May 2013.
I realise now how much I could have done with him while he was alive. The time we could have spent. The conversations we never had, but should have. I saw him cry only once in my life. When I moved out with my daughter Chelsea and heard that he cried bitterly when my sister Michelle passed away after being knocked down by a bus just outside our family home in Bridgetown, Cape Town. She was only 6 yrs old. He wore her beanie for the rest of his life.
My mom suffers from Parkinsons and Diabetes but she still is the anchor in our family. She lives in a Retirement home in the heart of Town and is very happy there.
Anyway, I miss ol Dad so much and wear his watch whenever I want to feel close to him.
Heres a pic of him celebrating 52 yrs of marriage.
