Subtitle

401k: How to set a bunch of money on fire

_{(Photo from Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy. Because Batman.)}

Reason 1

It's for suckers.

It's money that's given back to you in your 60/70s for playing it safe. And taxed heavily.

It just sits there, lining the wallets of fat execs. Everyone touches it and fondles the fuck out of it for 40-50 years, milking your hard earned money. And God forbid you should decide to take some out, that's when the real ass rape begins. You're only supposed to touch it after everyone else has had their fingers all up in it.

Reason 2

It's pretty much the matrix, but for your money.

Money is your life energy since you ultimately trade hours for money (hours/time= life energy...In case I'm not making myself clear). So, you're a Duracell battery that pumps the system with 30-50% of your pay in taxes and any excess energy is pumped into 401ks

It's what keeps this fiat system alive, without 401ks being sloshed around daily wall street would seize to exist. Whose money would they play with? Certainly not their own. OPM baby, other people's money, it's the best kind of money there is.

Reason 3

There's wayyyy better options.

Pick up a fucking book, no seriously, there's this thing called a library, and if you're not careful in there you just might come up with your own great ideas.

Take a risk on yourself, I wouldn't even call it a risk. You could die tomorrow walking your dog... so why do something as boring as invest in a damn 401k.

Invest in startups, rental properties, gold, cryptocurrencies, local businesses, the list goes on and on. Just please, anything but a damn 401k.

Reason 4

Roth IRA

If after reading all of this, you're still saying to yourself, "but mike my job matches me up to 5% blah blah blah..." Then I would suggest starting with a Roth IRA, it's the lesser of 2 evils, for reasons I won't go into, it's a better starting point than a 401k.

But whatever, this is all in my most humble opinion, you guys can do whatever the fuck you want to do. #yolo

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