How a careless teenager turned into a (step)mom - Part Nine - STALKING

'HOW A CARELESS TEENAGER TURNED INTO A (STEP)MOM'

(life of a girl who survived domestic violence and stalking, fighting for a better life)

Welcome to the Ninth day I'm participating in the #monthlyauthorchallenge!
I'm really excited to join the challenge! Why? Because I would love to share some bits of my life with you.
I think it might surprise you and even shock you 😉

DAY 9 Stalking

I loved spending time with my girls. We didn't have beds right away, so the first months we slept on a large airbed. I always slept in the middle. I still remember laying there listening to them breathing. Mirthe's breathing was a little slower than Lotte's. I would look at their perfect beautiful faces and knew that they were (and still are!! sorry @fitzgibbon😉) everything to me. I had to keep them safe. I had to fight for them. I would die for them, but more then that I had to LIVE for them!
I loved sleeping between them, but I knew that it would be better for them to have their own room and their own bed, so we arranged that.
After a few months we'd found our niche.
That house at this secret adress became our home.

One day I was hanging around the house with the girls in the afternoon. I heard the door ring. Mirthe went to the door. I was right behind her. She opened the door and..
THERE HE WAS 😨
My ex-husband was standing on our doorstep!
'Hi! Thank God I've found you!'
He walked in and took a look around the house. I walked after him.
I had no idea what to do! I was alone with the girls. My parents lived more then an hour away. Nobody was there to help.
Then he went downstairs and said to the girls 'Want to do something fun with daddy?'.
I was NOT going to let him take the girls. But WHAT could I do?! If I'd sent him away he would get mad. I decided to be 'nice' to him and to stay calm and quiet, as I've done so many years before. I had to stick with the girls no matter what. Think Betty! THINK! Do not let him get away with the girls!
'There's a little playground on the other side of the road. The girls love it there. We can walk there..'
We did.

After that he wanted to stay for dinner. After dinner he played with the girls while I was watching them from a distance. What was going to happen tonight? I DIDN'T want him to stay, but I was afraid of what would happen if I told him to go away. I had to make sure to keep it nice and calm for the kids.
That night we got the girls to bed together.
I walked to my bedroom to get a towel and I got really scared. I saw his bag laying on my bed.. He planned to stay...😨

When the girls were sleeping he sat down at the cough beside me. 'Shall we watch a movie together? I'm so happy to finally be with you!'
We watched some television. Well, he did. I wasn't watching. The only thing I did was think of was 'how do I get him out of our house??' This I knew: he was NOT sleeping in my bed!
I worked up all my courage and said to him 'You have to go now. You can't stay here.'
He looked at me. Surprised. 'You're not happy I've finally found you?'
WHAT?! Is he being serious? 😲
'I want you to get better, but I can't help you at this moment. You can't stay here'
He remained seated for a while and then he stood up and went upstairs to get his bag.
He walked outside and took a seat in his car, but didn't close the door. I walked with him and stood in front of the car underneath the awning.
He turned on the headlights and looked at me without saying anything.
That might have been the longest minutes in my whole life. Would he close the door and leave, or would he jump out of the car and end my life? 😥
After a long time he closed the door without saying anything and drove away.

THANK YOU GOD!

The next day I contacted the policestation. We talked about what happened the night before and I told them that I was still getting a lot of phonecalls, messages and letters from him lately.
I told them about that before. They adviced me to keep records of everything.
The police asked me to come by and to bring all the records that I collected.
The police-officer didn't believe her eyes when she saw me walking in with this large folder, full of letters and printed messages, in my hands.

'THIS IS SEVERE STALKING!!'

This all happened 13 years ago. The stalking continued for 'a while'. It stopped 3 years ago when my ex-husband was arrested for the fourth time because of the stalking, and the court was fed up with it.

DO THE MATH...

(Wow that's a shortcut! But yes, every word is true onfortunately.. )

After my ex-husband found out about our secret adress (thank you tax authorities..), we weren't safe in our house anymore.
More decisions had to be made.

Besides that I had to deal with CPS. The girls and I WEREN'T entitled to get some rest according to CPS,
because their dad WAS entitled to have contact with them!
While the police adviced me to stay away from him and to avoid any contact because of the severe stalking,
CPS forced me to have contact with him. 😥

I'll tell you about it tomorrow!
Stay tuned!

-Thank you for your interest! I would love to hear something from you! Please leave a comment and I'll get back to you 😊 Hope to see you back tomorrow! Love you 😘!-