Absent from my life...

One of the things I have mentioned before is how chronic migraines led to depression and anxiety…which led to avoidance of life. I became absent from my own life. I stopped participating in almost everything including church. I read a great quote yesterday from Hank Smith. He said, “Don’t assume that those who are inactive in the church have a weak testimony or aren’t close to God. And, don’t assume that those who are active in the church have a strong testimony or are close to God.” I thought this was an incredible thought. I think many of us “inactive” members are viewed in a somewhat critical light. It makes me sad because even though I am hardly at church and participating in meetings, I have a strong testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and I love God with all my heart. A few months back I went to Relief Society and sat by one of my dear friends. The teacher was speaking about the gifts that God gave us when he sent us down to Earth. Lots of answers were tossed around and one gift that was mentioned was FAITH. Not all people are born with Faith or sustain their faith backed by testimony. My friend leaned over to me and said, “that’s you. You have incredible faith.” I smiled and thought about it a little deeper. Perhaps faith IS my greatest talent. I seriously thought I was sent here with no talents. For real. The only talents I have are my ability to stay calm in any situation and my freakish ability to level and center pictures on a wall. Discovering that my faith has been the one thing I never lose even during my very dark or painful moments in enlightening. I feel many people question their faith in a higher power when hard times come. It is a true talent to continue exercising your faith even when you feel like you're losing at the game of life.
So, for my friends out there, don’t lose hope in yourself. God sees you. He hears you. He appreciates all the efforts we make on a daily basis to serve Him and to serve others. I didn’t realize that I had any real personal strengths until I was in my late 30s and now, at 40 years old, I am starting to recognize that I need to share talent I have. Faith.
I feel like the greatest way to build faith is through quiet meditation and prayer. If you don’t have faith, ask for it. Center yourself and talk to your higher power. Every. Day. Through this simple practice your soul will open up and you will feel guided and strengthened.