An ode to my mother

The hand that rocks the cradle, an ever essential part of the person I am today. She not only nurtured me into the being I am today, but is the essential motivation responsible for my existence. We all owe a lot to our mother, and I owe her my life and nothing less. Growing up she wasn't just my parent, but also my friend, my mentor, and even sometimes my alibi. She instilled morals in me and is the reason for all good in my conscience. Don't get me wrong, I am no saint or even close but thanks to her, I have never gone off the rails to the dark side. She makes me want to be better, and have a peaceful life.
Little did I know, when I left my nest for the first time, I had to witness the harsh realities of this big bad world. My morals steadily started to sway. I tried to communicate with her, for she truly cared. But alas, I had to fend for myself. She still gave me moral support but I still bled everyday as I couldn't get it right. Soon I had to rely on my newly formed friendship to survive. And survive i did, as I became one of them. My moral compass became quite obsolete, like a stopped clock. I found my way to survive, to get by. The more I was there, the deeper the darkness pierced through my skin. There were nights I was ashamed of my own reflection.
It was then, when I first had thoughts of giving up, as cynicism entered my bloodstream. I wished to give up, for I no longer saw goodness in life, and I hated myself the most. I was a sinner in my own conscious and I had to sentence my penance ever so soon. One night as I got intoxicated to pacify my demons, I saw her. I finally saw some goodness in life in the form of my mother. In the vision I saw her standing on the porch of our house. A tear fell down her eye, and she told me, 'Son you are not bad, deep inside I still know, survives my son, whom i nurtured, the champion the good hearted being. In your heart I still long to be, just to show you that goodness survives inside you. And I have faith you'll be good and strong again. For all I ever did, you have to come back, without my help, without my intervention. And I'll wait for you here, like a stone'.