Your Self

The purple veil girl is so cute, her smile is so charming, and her dimples are very attractive. The girl was leaning against a coconut tree in Mr. Totok's garden while reading a book that was thick enough. His eyes framed by glasses, staring seriously at every page he read, are very charming. Like there is a magnet that makes men like Arif not bored to see him linger. Arif himself could only look at him from the furthest angle that the girl could not possibly see. As a man, he certainly feels like a loser. He was unable to express his feelings clearly. Do not convey feelings, to approach him alone can not.

"Do not be like a thief, Le. If you like, just say like, "said mother while collecting coconut fruit that has been picked Arif. The man was startled to hear the mother's cry. He pulled his chest to calm the heart suddenly beating so fast.
"Arif is not a thief, Mom. Anywhere dare Arif steal a girl as sweet and as gentle as Shafa, "
"Loh, who is Shafa? Mother seems we did not talk about the name before, "said the mother with a taunt.
Arif went into the mother trap. Her mother was indeed a picture of a smart woman, able to read his son so well. All the children feel, the mother must know the slightest thing.

"Mom, later when mature and mature, Arif want to woo Shafa," he said tactically. Mom suddenly stopped cooking coconut fruit. He looked at him gently and sat down beside her. His old hand stroked Arif's back full of affection, as if giving understanding to him. "Shafa is a sweet girl, smart, and also good at playing. She is a diligent and polite girl towards older people. He knows his rights and responsibilities and can do it well. "
"And you are Le, my beloved daughter's son. With what you have achieved now, do you feel worthy of being with Shafa? I want you to introspect first, "continued the mother.



Arif's mind began to spin. He compares himself to Shafa. Different. They are much different. He felt very lame when compared with Shafa. Could this be a sign that Shafa is not his soul mate? "Son, Mother is speaking so not to fade your spirits, but to burn your spirits. Suffer yourself for Shafa, be a better man than this so as to be able to lead your family later, "the mother smiled softly. Arif also smiled to see it. Her mother was right. He was not worthy to be with the girl. She hugged her mother affectionately, staring at Shafa from a distance. And that second the man decided that he was going to make himself. Changed herself and her family situation for the better.

Day by day, year by year, now Arif has become a successful architect. Many high rise buildings are the result of the design. The economy is much better than before. Now he is able to repair his reot shack into a decent house to live in. In addition, lined up motorcycles, bicycles, and also cars there. His life changed significantly after four years of his wandering. The man was now pensive on the porch of his house. He was thinking about his desire first to edit Shafa. He hesitated and was too frightened to do that, because he felt it was still inappropriate to accompany the perfect girl in his eyes.

"What are you thinking about, Le?"
"Do you think Arif is right for Shafa now?" Mom paused.
"Try it, son. Lamarlah Shafa first. And we can see if according to Shafa you are worth it for him or not. "Explained the wise mother.
Arif thought his mother's opinion carefully. He felt it was time he tried to apply for Shafa. His four-year self-fulfilling struggle will be determined shortly.

Arif stepped into the house with a mixture of mixed feelings. He breathed heavily. His expression was somber and unenthusiastic. The mother who walked behind her just looked at his son's back with resignation. Fate no one can guess. As hard as humans are planning, events can only be left to God.

"Sit down, son," Without arguing, Arif sat down on one of the chairs and wiped his face roughly.
"Mother once told you did not you? If Shafa is your mate, she will be patient waiting for you. But it turns out Shafa is not waiting for you, so you have to accept it with a spacious heart, Le, "

"Arif wants to be like that, Mom. But it's very difficult. All that Arif has done all this time begins to wipe out as Shafa's companion ... but ... "
"That means Shafa is not your soul mate, Le. Allah has prepared a mate for you. You just have to be more patient and try harder. Remember, good girls are only for good men. Be you a good man, to get a good girl beyond Shafa. "

Her mother's words failed to entertain Arif who was still sad. Want to have him forget about Shafa and switch to find the girl destined for her, but difficult. Forgetting a girl who makes her change for the better is very difficult. He can only contemplate and pray for his fate to be better than now. The sound of the house bell woke Arif from his reverie. He stood degan lazy and then opened the door. His eyes widened when he found Shafa in front of him teary and a little sob. Her face was so red that Arif was surprised. Who had made the girl he liked so sad?

"Mas Arif, forgive Shafa. Forgive Shafa who can not accept Mas Arif's proposal, "said the girl full of sobs. Arif frowned at the sight of Shafa who looked so guilty about refusing her proposal. Earlier he did not reject the proposal directly, only through his father. He had no idea that Shafa felt so guilty. "Never mind, Shafa. I sincerely inner if you refuse my proposal earlier. I do not blame you, because it is your right to choose to accept or reject me. "

"Mom ... that's not the point, Mas. There is one thing or another that makes Shafa reject Mas Arif. "Shafa cried even more sobbing. "Shafa is not pure anymore, Mas!" Shrieked Shafa who alarmed Arif. Shafa's cries grew louder with the neighbors watching the incident at Arif's house. Mrs. Arif was standing watching both of them. Arif and everyone were so shocked to hear it. They know Shafa as a good girl and also berakhlaq noble. Unbelief is inserted when Shafa speaks thus.

"How can that be?" Arif looked at Shafa furiously.
"Mas Adam did it. Not long after Mas Arif left this village, Mas Adam did that. And ... and ... "
"And you take it for granted?" Arif asked in disbelief.
"Mas, listen to Shafa first,"

Arif glanced at the many neighbors who watched him and also Shafa. The cynical view is clearly visible to Shafa after hearing his story. Negative whispers flew out of their mouths, even audible to his ears. Unable to bear to see Shafa looked like that, Arif asked Shafa to enter his house which was later followed by his mother. Arif invited Shafa to sit, while her mother made hot tea in the kitchen for the girl. Shafa's hands shook as she watched Arif look at her angrily. He was wrong. He was wrong. He can not take care of himself. He was not fit for Arif. He was sure, the man was now disgusted to see that which was dirty.



"Calm down, do not be afraid," said Arif trying to ease his emotions. He was angry. He was very angry at Adam, Shafa's own sister. Shafa's sister was utterly immoral to do such a nasty thing to her own sister. Arif could not help thinking what was in Adam's mind to do such a despicable thing.
"I do not feel right for you, Mas. Forgive me for refusing your application. But really, after rejecting you my heart feels very sick. "
"Have a drink first, son. Calm down your mind, "Arif's mother handed her a cup of tea to Shafa. Shafa took it and took a sip of tea. The warm feeling of tea was flowing down my throat, making it slightly calmer. He placed the cup on the table, and looked at Arif again.

"You know, Mas? Right now I feel like a cheap woman. I beg for your love that I have not even an hour ago. I'm embarrassed, Mas. I'm embarrassed to admit it all, "Shafa explained with her eyes flushed again.
"Thank you for being honest with me. I do not know if your problem is this big, "
"Honestly, I was shocked when you came up with such shocking news. On the one hand I am very happy because my feelings are not unilateral love. But on the other hand, I'm pretty disappointed, why can not you take care of yourself. "

"That's because Mas Adam forced me, Mas. He grabbed me shortly after me ... after I saw you go at the station. At that time he was drunk because of losing in *. I ... I ... "Shafa looked down at both shame and sadness. He tells the most embarrassing thing to a man he loves. He is sure, after this Arif will not want to see that dirty again. "I also ... I have a child, Mas." Added Shafa who so astonished Arif.

The man was aghast at hearing Shafa. Today the girl was happy to surprise her. After rejecting it, then say that loves it, then declares if he is not holy, and now says already have children? This insistent shock is hard to digest. Her love is tested now. In the past he had loved Shafa with all his perfection, but now he was faced with the fact that stabbed his heart. Can he love Shafa just as he did not know all these facts? Arif paused to listen to Shafa's next explanation. The judgment of Shafa right now is not appropriate. He also took part in this. If he had not gone, he was sure he could look after her even in the distance.

"His name is Revelation. He is 3 years old now. "
"Why do not you ever know you're pregnant and have a baby? And ... your son, you never saw him. "
"Revelation stayed with my mother in a village far enough from here. I hid it, hid its birth, and hid while I was pregnant because I was afraid of Mas Arif ... I was afraid someday when Mas Arif came, he hated me. Even though I know he now hates me after I tell him all this, "

Arif was shocked. Child? It never occurred to him that Shafa already has children. He was angry. His anger is not because Shafa has had children, but because she is hiding all the facts. He has lied to all the neighbors even himself only to Arif. He dislikes pretense for a pseudo. "What is your reason for telling all this? You say love me, then reveal all the facts that very ... very startle me. I am confused. I am angry, Shafa. In my eyes you are a good and noble woman. But…"

That's why I refused Mas Arif's proposal. If I accept it, I would be lying to Mas Arif. Mas just knew me that was four years ago. Four years is a very long time to happen things that are impossible to happen. And in four years it was a very unexpected thing, "cut Shafa. "I'm sorry to bother Mas with all these facts. I just want Mas Arif to accept the present Shafa by what I am, not Shafa who four years ago. All decisions are on Mas Arif. Shafa will not force, "concluded Shafa.

Shafa is ready with all Arif's decisions. If lucky, Arif still want to accept it as it is. However, hope is just hope to look at Arif's current face. His face was red like anger. Also, Arif's mother. He looked very surprised but still able to control his own emotions. "Then what do you want now?" Arif asked sarcastically.

The woman was surprised to hear it. He had never heard Arif say such cynics. He looked down at the fear. He himself confused what he wants. On the one hand he wanted to be with Arif but on the other hand he did not want Arif got a woman like herself. "Shafa just wants Mas Arif to feel fair. Shafa did not want Mas Arif, Shafa rejected for no apparent reason. And ... Shafa's taste has all been explained. Sorry to disturb Mas Arif. "Shafa stood up and greeted Arif's mother and moved away from Arif's residence. He was embarrassed. He is too confident if Arif will accept it as it is.

A week since his astonishing confession, Shafa lived like a man with no direction. He is so tired of doing all his duty. But the existence of his son mengahapus all the fatigue. Right now he has lived with his son. Her son needs her. He does not want to be selfish by removing his son from his life only for a man who now hates him.

Shafa took Wahyu around his yard. Little toddler is handsome, but physical is not perfect. He has only one whole hand, which makes it difficult to do things. But Revelation is so active and always makes the spirit of Shafa back to the highest point in living his life. When I was joking with Revelation in the yard, suddenly came a man who had made him mop this past few days. The man came with his mother dressed very neatly. Shafa then opened the gate and allowed the guest to come in and sit down.

"Apologize first. What's wrong, Mother and Daddy come here? "Shafa asked doubtfully.
"Your father is there? I come to ask you, Shafa, "
Upon hearing that, Shafa realized and believed that sincere love was true.