How to stick to what really matters, be realistic and careful in your lifesteemCreated with Sketch.

in motivation •  9 months ago 

Managing expectations to avoid disappointment and magical thinking is key to happiness. A more balanced (and realistic) life vision is the key to well-being, but how?

Understanding how to change goals and beliefs to achieve happiness is managing expectations. Not simply a job. We expect too much from people, ourselves, and life. As they say, expecting the best makes good less good, which often leads to pain.

Young children have trouble distinguishing between their inner and outside worlds, according to psychologist Jean Piaget. At 6 or 7, we all experience "magical thinking" and the belief that what you desire will happen.

Ironically, some adults strengthen this diet. This leads individuals think the world must match their vision, aspirations, and expectations. What Piaget labelled magical reasoning is now called the “law of attraction” and sells millions of books worldwide.


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Life isn't always what we want, people aren't always what we expect, and we occasionally set unachievable ambitions. To avoid disappointment, raise expectations. What to do is explained.

The notion that something will happen as predicted is an expectation. This relates to persons and events. Thus, humans form expectations about their future and relationships. Does this suggest these psychological constructs are harmful? Absolutely.

Looking ahead, we all need security. Trusting that events will go as planned provides us peace and security. Same with emotional bonds. Trust-based social bonds mean we expect our partner, family, and friends to help us in any situation.

Similar things happen in decision-making. Expectations affect many of our daily decisions, according to Trento University research. Adjusting them, being realistic, and removing “magical thinking” chips will be useful and fulfilling.

Focus on what you can control to manage expectations. Expecting to win the lottery is magical thinking. Magical thinking occurs when you wait for a promotion without working for it.

When you expect others to behave how you wish, the same thing happens. You cannot influence these circumstances, so change your vision.

Realistic expectations are set knowing you have the tools to meet them. Sometimes what you fight for doesn't happen, but your chances of success are always higher than if you relied on luck or other parties.

You must be reasonable and attentive to manage expectations. It's bad to have high hopes for a picture we haven't watched because we like the filmmaker. We also don't risk everything on one person. Sometimes disappointments occur.

The girl in Dalsgaard's painting may have had high hopes for someone who never arrived. Keep a bright, optimistic mindset with a pinch of realism and caution.

Life can be great, but strong expectations can weaken its impact. Maybe we expected a trip to Paris from our partner but got a weekend at the beach. But does being together matter?

Lowering expectations to focus on what matters demands awareness of our gaze. We should always put it in the stars over our heads. Life is right under our noses. Just ahead.

Lowering expectations is not degrading ourselves; it's adjusting to a more precise and realistic level to let destiny surprise us.


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