We all must be able to differentiate between pleasure, happiness and joy.
“Pleasure is gathered, joy is gathered and happiness is cultivated” Buddha
This relates to daily desires. Dine, drink, socialise. It's satisfying. But the joy is fleeting.
Chocolate and parties are fun, but all wonderful things have limits.
Thus, endless pleasure is not a healthy way to happiness!
Ancient thinkers tried to unravel this puzzle and concluded that permanent happiness must depend as little as possible on external forces.
We then discuss wisdom: our happiness comes from inside. (Wait, becoming a dictator and controlling our lives to avoid discontent is not the solution either.)
Like any concept, it is an ideal we must strive for without perfectly achieving.
We define happiness as our life outlook. Something deep and lasting.
Talk about delight!
Frédéric Lenoir nicely describes:
"The lover in the presence of the loved one, the player in the moment of victory, the artist in front of his creation, and the researcher in the moment of discovery feel an emotion deeper than pleasure, more concrete than happiness, that carries the whole being and becomes the supremely desirable through a thousand facets. Joy shakes us up, invades us, and gives us fulfilment."
How do you control joy? Unfortunately, it cannot be ordered or built like pleasure or happiness.
Spinoza takes a pragmatic method to delight! (Spinoza, Ethics) “Each thing, according to its power of being, strives to persevere in its being” Nature wants to evolve and grow. The basis of life. Developing one's essential power and moving forward is natural.
Still, Spinoza believed that grief arises when conditions or individuals impede us from acting (our vital power) or evolving. Conversely, we feel joy when individuals and things help us progress, gain power, and achieve oneself.
Success, winning, meeting people who grow us, and understanding life better bring us delight. When we advance!
Active and passive pleasures:
Spinoza also distinguishes passive and active delights.
Active delights depend entirely on ourselves, while passive joys depend partially.
Our joys are deeper because they fulfil us.
Each of us achieves differently. Paying attention to what makes us joyful, especially active delights, increases our happiness.
This exercise is from Frédéric Lenoir's The Power of Joy.
Before bed, list five things that made you happy today. Remember and multiply these.
Eating causes pleasure, not joy (because overeating is negative while self-improvement brings joy).
Nature, shared moments, physical activity that promotes well-being, and goal achievement can bring joy.
Self-discovery is toughest on this journey. Your reactions reveal your nature in the same situation.
Ex: If you do nothing and feel unhappy in a fight, it may be because you don't want to let things happen, and vice versa. If you are in activity, conflict, and sadness, step back and observe. Find your place. Find your happy recipe.
Finally, we form an image of ourselves based on others' feedback and our childhood beliefs. Each person discovers their own self throughout time.