Hello, constellations... How is life treating them? Here is a surrealistic self-portrait that I started a long time ago but I finished not long ago.

The face comes from a selfie, the body was an odyssey since I had no where to look and could not make it look real and balanced with the face, I kept doing it that way and added a myriad of details to disguise the defects. I still see them, however I can also see in their imperfection how beautiful this work is, since in it, I notice different stages of my life (I drew, I stopped and months later I started again and always with different moods) and in that sense achieved more than my more realistic portraits, because in him there is a unique emotional charge.

You know? The last thing I said made me think of that popular phrase of the artists, that although it is said in different words, it always transmits the same message, it is something like "I drawing to free myself".

Did you hear it? I bet yes.

As a girl I began to hear the phrase in my school, it came from some children who also drew... By that time I knew enough about the manipulation, therefore, I could only think:

<<What dramatic people, it's like they want to get attention. When I draw, I do it because I'm very bored and there's nothing better to do, or it's drawing or washing the dishes, so I better draw, right? How is it that drawing a Goku from an existing image can lighten some of your emotions? it is absurd, in that case it would be making a drawing of your own and even then how is it possible? Maybe it's a phrase to get attention because when you hear it, people feel moved and try to sympathize with you by asking you about your life or asking what each thing means in the drawing you do xD. Then you have an opportunity to pretend not to want to say anything and 10 seconds later, tell everything about yourself, your past and how you remember that your mom hit you with a shoe when you were younger JAJAJAJAJA! Jah! Those guys are God-level theater actors.>>

That's all I thought as a child but as you grow and mature and inculcate in this area, you start to feel differently. You become sensitized because you start to really love him... I do not know if I explain myself well, in case I do not, I'll try whit another thing:

I have a sister who is a psychologist and she knows about these profound things of human thought... Once we had a conversation, I no longer remember what, but what I do remember is this:

-When something bothers you, ask yourself why it bothers you. When you find that the "why" also bothers you, ask again why? and thus a chain of "whys" will arise that will take you to the source of the problem. -Obviously she said it in a more eloquent way but the main idea is that and you can apply it to anything-.

-Why do you draw?

-Because I like.

-Because you like it?

-Because I can create anything.

-Why do you want to create things?

-Because it distracts me from the bad moment and I can have control of creation, I think.

-Why do you want to have control in a drawing?

-Because it's the only activity where I can have it. I can not have it outside.

-By?

-This is about bullying. They are too many and I can not defend myself, but I can still draw and keep a bit of control of this situation, or at least of my tears until they get tired and leave me alone.

-Then you do it to flee?

-Most of the time.

When I knew it was a defense mechanism I could understand how it could be perfectly possible to express your feelings in a drawing and you realize that when you find one of your old illustrations, you break it because every part of it reminds you of a bad moment in your life.

And that's how some artists are born...

A young man feels angry and takes as an escape to break things, later, probably, he will be an abuser. A young victim of abuse who feels angry and takes as an escape to write all his frustrations on a sheet, will feed the idea of becoming a writer some day. Someone who prefers to download all his rage on a canvas to be the same as always, rather than lash out at someone, will be a plastic artist... The one who prefers to listen to the strings of his guitar before the insults of his parents reminding him that he is useless, will be a musician, and the one who runs far, far away... It will reach the Olympics. There will be those who will escape their demons by means of narcotics or other vices, but in my opinion this is not one of the most intelligent decisions. Anyway, we feed what we want, if you want to run away, make sure you create an exit strategy: