I was watching Berkun Oya's new series "Bir Başkadr" the other day. The series made it plain from the start that it was created to raise awareness and provoke debate in society. In this piece, I'd want to share something with you that was inspired by the series. I hope it makes a difference in your life.
When you despise someone, where does "hatred" reside? Whoever hates, hates himself! As a result, when you truly despise someone, you feel it in your heart. And if you're stubborn, you'll keep it inside for years to avoid letting go of your hatred. And sometimes the other person is completely unaware of it.
Emotion is derived from the English term emotion (e-motion) (energy in motion). It literally means "moving energy." By their very nature, all emotions want to be in motion. Coming, feeling, and departing... When we hold on to them, however, they must solidify, and when they solidify, they settle in the body. These hardened feelings become uncomfortable over time. Because emotions are fluid, they want to be free in order to return to their original state. Triggering is a method of breaking apart this cemented condition.
Is it possible to let hatred, like all other emotions, flow freely? To do so, you must first comprehend acceptance.
Accepting is one thing, but loving is a completely different storey. Acceptance is just the ability to see someone for who they are and observe them without attempting to change them. "How can a person who doesn't comprehend think like that?" you might wonder. “How does he manage to do such things?” we wonder... Could we be forgetting that in those days, everyone was a one-of-a-kind individual?
We are all unique individuals who have developed distinct personalities from the moment we were born till now. We all have different strengths and limitations, as well as different sensitivities. There are fantasies and realities in our lives. Our met and unfulfilled needs... We want to be recognised, affirmed, and acknowledged. We adopt techniques in order to be appreciated. Some of these are dangerous to us, our loved ones, and society as a whole. However, we find it difficult to recognise and let go of these methods that have become a way of feeling loved, despite the fact that we are as thirsty for love as a flower.
We don't have to love each other, of course. It's a blatant contradiction to use the phrases love and have in the same sentence. If we honestly and sincerely wish for a better world, however, we must practise "acceptance" today and in all circumstances. To strive to alter one another, we must learn to perceive one other as it is, rather than seeking for flaws.
What type of person is this, who, with all his pretensions, is saying the opposite of my views right now? Is it possible for my mind to take a step back, desiring to scream out the truth of my own views despite his claims? Is this a chance to expand my horizons beyond my own thoughts and knowledge? Could following this person, who has recognised the opposite of what I think to be true as truth without judgement, be a new avenue to freedom? Is life truly as simple as that? Or can I mature enough to recognise that all that occurs in it is a part of life, realising that it is a vast ocean of unknowns?
Is it possible for me to accept myself in the same way? When I become aware that I am judging someone else merely by recognising that it is a part of me... And by adopting acceptance as a discipline into my life, I'm able to expand the boundaries I've set for myself... By reminding myself that I don't have to accept... I'm aware that I may not have succeeded yet, but I'm giving it my all.
Simply practising will help you to broaden your heart. Last time your heart was full with hatred, who was it for? What is the name of the person you can't tolerate seeing? Can you now close your eyes and stare at him in your thoughts for a few moments just to see him? To witness his suffering, consciousness, and human condition as he tries to live... Can you just look at him for the first time to get to know him?