It's not unusual to see a meeting or event where you can't make it, and you're worried about what other people will say about the leader of one of your work groups. Even though his health condition is very bad, he still does not give up what he is doing, believing that once he gives up, no one else can replace him. These are all signs of taking yourself too seriously. The famous Russian short story writer Chekhov has a famous classic work called the death of a small civil servant. The story is very simple, a small civil servant weekend to go to the theater, accidentally hit a sneeze, spit to see a general sitting in the front row of the head, the protagonist a little panic, head to apologize to the general, the general accepted.
However, the more the protagonist thought, the more he felt that the apology was not enough, so he went to apologize again during the rest, and the general expressed impatience. After returning home, the leading role thought carefully, the next day dressed neatly, and solemnly go to the general's office to apologize.
The general was speechless and dismissed him, still feeling that he had not finished his sentence and that he should explain himself. So when the general was free, he came in again and apologized.
The general, not laughing or crying, sent him away again.
On the third day, the hero finds the general again and repeats the same story. The general could not bear it any longer and shouted, get lost.
So the hero is finally scared to death by his roar.
We recognize that some people contribute more to humanity and society than the majority. But throughout history, the earth has never changed its course because of who has been gained or lost.
The famous artist Andrew Ying once told a story.
He grew up in a large family, with dozens of people sitting in the dining room at every meal.
Once, on a whim, he decided to play a joke on everyone and hid himself in the dining room before dinner. An invisible closet, waiting to jump out when no one else can find it.
The result was that his absence was not even noticed.
After everyone had left, he walked out and ate some leftover soup.
Ever since then, he has told himself never to take himself too seriously, or you will be disappointed sooner or later.
Of course, don't take yourself too seriously, also can't go to the other extreme of self-contempt, self-abandonment.
So what's the right thing to do?
First, put yourself in others' shoes.
In China's oldest and most famous perspective-taking, can be said to be the child is not fish, know the happiness of fish? In the West, there is a term for empathy.
It is important to note that the word empathy has many meanings in Chinese, but it does not mean transference, but rather the ability to understand and identify with the situation and feelings of others.
Simply put, it's the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
This empathy is not simply compassion. In our attempt to put ourselves in others' shoes, people shed the prejudices of their own values and self-awareness. From a higher perspective to understand what the attitudes of the various participants might be.
Second, be calm and calm in your heart.
What others think of you is sometimes important because it helps you to see yourself better, but don't worry too much about what others think of you. Because everyone has their own agenda, in most cases, no one is looking at you. In addition to the people who love you, no one has the obligation to care about you, regard others too important, their life will become to live for others, and regard yourself too important, will not see the world as it is. Yang Jiang believes that the most graceful scenery of life is the calmness and calmness of heart.
Third, pay more attention to how you feel about yourself.
If you care too much about what others think of you, that burning desire can make you feel even more barren inside. You begin to see yourself based on how others see you.
Instead of desperate desires, try doing things that are intended to make you feel more powerful.
The things that give you inner peace, the things that keep your life from being a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions controlled by someone else's point of view.
Take care of yourself, your opinion of yourself, and build your self-esteem and self-confidence.
The point here is to focus on your own perspective, not on what other people say, but on what they say that will help you and help you stay stable. This will keep your life and relationships from spiraling out of control and falling apart.