About this Log
This is the first log after my first day I took 1 gram of sclerotium (truffles). You can find more about my plans in my introduction. But in short sclerotium are compact mass of hardened fungal mycelium containing food reserves, psilocybin and psilocin.
The report and inner findings
Let’s begin with my day. I woke up at 7:35 a.m. It was a usual start of the day with usual feelings as most of my mornings are. I had my shower and decided not to have breakfast so I could stimulate my metabolism. I consumed the first gram around 8:20 a.m. and went to work at 8:45 a.m. Where I started working around 9:00 a.m.
One of the first things I noticed first was a sense of stoicism around 10:00 a.m. This is a philosophy I’m trying to integrate in my day to day life. But it’s also something I struggle with. However, while the truffle was active, these ideas I struggled with became more clear, more prominent and active. And therefore they were easier to follow and integrate. There was a general sense of letting go. If things didn’t go my way then that was alright. There wasn’t more to a problem then needed and there wasn’t any less to a problem as well. My entire thought processes where aligned with the notion of truth. A bit abstract for now, but something I would like to talk more about in future articles.
This feeling also gave insight to a valuable lesson I have yet to learn. There seems to be a balance between not trying, trying and over trying to achieve your goals. If you have a goal, then the right mindset would be to do everything that’s possible to achieve that goal. And this is where we can sabotage our selfs with an illusion by over trying. That would be the moment where we over work with diminishing returns and fail because of a subconscious power. Just so we can deceive our selfs and say. “See, I tried.” which paves the way for a victim mentality and cause more chaos then order over time. This is why you should be brutally honest with yourself. So you can come to understand what your true motives are. And this would mean that you should try to know your self trough and trough. And that’s hard; not easy at all! This is a philosophy that could be learned without taking drugs. But to achieve such a state, a person needs to understand intrinsically allot of truthful knowledge about one’s self and the world around him. So that a person knows how to separate the wheat from the shaft. This could mean letting go of personal wishful views about how the self and the world ought to be, especially if it’s out of your control. But can also result in an ego crisis where one has to let go with something he or she is deeply identified with. As every great teacher would say. Give a man a truffle, and he’ll trip for one day. Teach a man philosophy and he’ll trip for his entire life.
Around 14:00 the effects where lessened. I started to get tired, which is usual for me around this time. But I kept working, because I was still able to sustain the right stoic mindset. I could still do some work with good concentration and talk to peers without problems. Around 17:45 I came back from work and entered my home. My couch started to look very comfortable. So I ate dinner and went for a small nap.
The awesome thing is that I haven’t forgotten many details because of the very subtle effect. There is this tendency when you take 20 grams that your recall memory and short term memory completely blocks off and that although you can get all these life altering epiphany’s. You don’t understand any of them after you're done tripping. This is because it’s about sustaining the right mindset within you from day to day. Which can only be achieved if one has the understanding, knowledge and wisdom so an epiphany can prevail in changing the mind.
Conclusion first report
This is the first report I’ve made. I will do another one soon. For now it’s all about psychological patterns and see if I can further understand what I came to understand at that time. Patterns are very important to me. Because I can distill those patterns as facts and share them with confidence.
According to the internet I should be god. According to myself before I consumed I should expect nothing. But what I got was a very subtle change of perspective which lead to more awareness and focus. This helps against depression but is actually something you should try to understand without drugs. Drugs can guide you with insight and teach you something about different states of consciousness. But the right state of mind is only accessible when you integrate it day after day in to your life. And this cannot be done with external stimuli.
Just keep following the truth and it will show you the way.
Thank you for reading!
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