Rockin' A Hard Place

Often I feel really stuck, like any direction which I have to go is going down a path which I really don't want to travel. Most people experience this feeling I suspect, however, my life has taken some crazy turns over the last couple years that are sure to grab your interest.
It all started when I bought an Ipad. For years I had worked in construction, swinging a hammer by day and being a family man and a homeowner in the evenings and weekends. Things were always tight but somehow I managed to keep the food on the table and rebuild our fixer-upper in spare time. I also loved having friends visit and making up musical tracks with friends. Due to poor timing and the financial crash of 2008, I wound up giving my house back to the bank, claiming bankruptcy, and moving to a bigger city out of the beautiful pine trees and mountains. My wife managed to work her way through nursing school and I got a secure job working for the state as a maintenance man at the Superior Court.
Finally, the girls were getting old enough to give me some free time in the evenings, and I started spending more time on the Ipad. I started out just horribly addicted to video games like Plants Vs. Zombies spending hours tap tap tapping on the glass screen. Eventually, I grew bored with the games and began asking Google questions. I asked myself, now that I have this amazing internet searching machine, what do I want to know about?
The burning question that came forth in my odd brain was, "What the hell really happened on Sept. 11? Why haven't people realized that the media was lying yet?"
The search was on. As the saying goes, down the rabbit hole I went. It started with Architects and Engineers and I ended up writing this:
Survival On Planet Earth
Did I go off the deep end?
Or did I finally discover truth?
Somewhere in between?
Its hard to put into words all the ways that this search and research on the internet affected me. At this same time, I discovered podcasts. I dove in, listening to hours of podcasts on 9/11 and Geoengineering and any other conspiracy related topics I could get my earbuds on.
I don't know why I became so obsessed, but I finally felt like I was getting closer to an understanding of some things that always confused me about this country and our society.
I went through a strange inner transformation and had a crazy mid-life crisis awakening experience. I began to question all my deep beliefs and preconceptions and tried to find ways to get closer to nature like swimming in lakes and walking barefoot. I think my wife and friends thought I lost my mind. I was a little worried I was losing it.
Yet, here I am, still talking about the same wacky stuff and still not locked up in a hospital. I don't claim to know all the answers, but I have come to realize that our society is on a very dangerous path.
I am seeking a way out of this matrix of a system which I now see as a form of slavery. I am ready to taste real freedom. I want to work towards a better future for my children. Trouble is, it will take a lot more folks than just myself to make big changes in this world. This is where I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.
For a while, I found myself angry or depressed. I needed to take some action to relieve the anxiety of feeling like a rat in a trap. I started making changes in my life. I started doing regular exercise, speaking out, using social media and making health improvements. I began to create my own podcast. I told my story to everyone who would listen. I took all the random weird music I made up over the years and started talking in between these tracks I call SCRITCH and making little shows. I added quotes from inspiring people and authors. I tried to inspire others to ask more questions and explore their creative side. I hoped to offer something positive rather than another angry whining conspiracy theorist.
You be the judge. Let me know what you think. Ill keep talking and singing until I find more folks that want to transcend the control matrix!
Its your life
Its your song
make it up as you go along
http://scritchshow.com/