It was my first time living solo, far away from my hometown.
In my past boarding houses, either I have a roommate or other people inside the compound that I can talk to. I never felt so alone 'til now.
I just realized that it was pretty depressing that you're all alone. I also wonder what will happen if I die here suddenly; they won't immediately know. They will just notice if my room starts to stink or if they look for me for rental bills.
I've been voicing out what I've felt here on social media because I don't have friends that I can talk deeply? Just kidding
I have friends, but sometimes I am just too shy to approach them. But when they contact me, I feel so happy. They also reach out to me to offer help. They always do check on me. I don't know what to say because I don't know what I need.
I'm also happy that there are friends who just messaged me out of nowhere and tell me about their newfound hobbies, new, unexpected pets like caterpillars and snails in their garden, and when they show me their simple bike upgrades, and Pokemon go tricks and tips.
I love it when they show the photos of what they love. I appreciate every message assuring me that they are always here for me, and from those moments, I felt the connections.
Yesterday I tried to hang out with my friend, and it was so life-changing. I crave that interaction, haha. It made me feel alive and humane.
Now I just finished my pending tasks for my sidelines and then went to bed once more.
I just went to bed knowing I should have been doing things like that, but my head is too heavy to be creative or be out there to ride a bike. Maybe I was still in transition to independence? And maybe my body says it's too hot here in Metro Manila to go, and I can't stroll at night because there's a curfew in my area. In my previous place, I can go out till 10PM or 1 AM (ECQ and MECQ).
I would have also lost my appetite to move. Hmmm, maybe I am just missing nature and fresh air
Thank you for dropping by and reading my mind.
