My-Niche: My First Wedding Engagement

I saw @awolesigideon's post in the list of contests. I find it interesting and exciting. Here's the link to this week's my-niche contest.

My First Wedding Engagement

Image by: Jeannette

Every girl's dream, perhaps, is to walk down the aisle dressed in white - walking towards the altar where the love of her life awaits her.

For almost five years in the relationship, that was what I hoped for. Maybe I was too focused on my hope that I never cared to look around me - to notice and realize that I am not where I should be at.

I was 25. Single with a promising career. Happy. It never fully occurred to me the idea of having someone by my side to love me and for me to love in return. Until, I noticed my friends getting married and having kids. I admit the pressure was there. Pressure from both peers and family.

I have always hoped to find a man who is funny and smart. But, apparently just being funny and smart won't put food on the table. So, the grown up in me also hoped for that man to be financially responsible.

Then, he was introduced to me. He was all that I hoped for - he was.

We started great just like most relationships. Everything seemed perfectly amazing. We started in a long distance relationship because at that time he was working out of the country. There weren't much challenges and adjustments. Probably that's the reason why it went smoothly in the beginning.

The day came when he decided to come home and just stay in the country and start a business. It was, for me, a great decision. After all, relationships have to be built on a strong foundation, and that is, with each other's presence.

This was when I realized that there are far more important qualities in a lifetime partner than just being funny, smart, and successful in a career. I overlooked 2 most important qualities - character and attitude.

Image by: Ciele Edwards

While in the relationship, I have observed his verbally abusive nature. He would scream at his mom when he's angry. He also did the same to me in several occasions, both in private or in a public place - not caring whether he was shaming or embarrassing me. He couldn't control his temper. He easily loses his cool. I brushed it off. I was thinking that he will change eventually.

I was wrong. It even got worse. But I was stubborn (I still am, though). I convinced myself that he's the one for me.

The day that I waited and hoped for came. He proposed to me on a moonlit night by the beach. But I got scared. It felt like my voice was trapped inside. Until he said: "Hey, answer me!" And I said 'yes'.

I was wondering why I never felt the excitement of preparing for the wedding just like other brides-to-be. I evaluated myself to understand where those were coming from.

I didn't show my hesitations and fear. I still went on and plan for the wedding. Reservations were made when, finally, I came to my right senses.

The insults and painful words from his mouth opened my eyes and my mind. I thought to myself, "This isn't the man I want to spend my whole life with."

I took the courage to quit and cancel the wedding. It was so devastating. Talking to my family, friends and other invites for the wedding and telling them it's cancelled was depressing. I went through the painful stages of a break up and the hardest was depression.

It was my decision. I dealt with it. And I consider it, by far, the best and most mature decision I ever made. When we are stripped off with everything we have, what will be left is our character. We should marry the character and attitude of the person not what is just superficial.

Image by: Josephine Yurcaba

I am finally where I should be at now. Happy.

It was my first wedding engagement. But I am sure it won't be my last. And the next will be a love to last a lifetime.