My Story - Slowly going crazy

I decided to write my story. Telling relatives - it makes no sense, special support never felt. I hope for understanding and advice.

I'm 20 years old, I meet a man older than me for 12 years. We are happy, we constantly go to Europe, all the time together. Of course, we sometimes conflict, but where without it, right?

He has two children (in his youth, one madam flew by him). Now they are 10, girls. I accepted them and fell in love with them with all my heart. I try for them, constantly something they bring from abroad. Girls adore both the pope and me, they obey. But he did not always have such relations with them. Before me, he met with a woman who generally forbade him to communicate with children, forcing them to renounce them. Because of this, they have constant abuse, and he has rare meetings with children every few months.

When I met him, he was free, told me all this. My first question was: "Are you probably very ashamed of your daughters?" He was still very surprised that I was so sensitive to the fact that he had children.

Since then, twirled. He introduced me to the children, and I began to set him up for their upbringing. I taught him to pamper them and buy gifts. She also spoiled herself, supplied with books, which they have little.

And now the most interesting thing: he introduced me to their mother. At first I wanted this, I thought, everything will turn out, we will make friends and the children benefit. Probably because I've never seen such a thing in my life before.

The first meeting was, to put it mildly, painful for me. Their mother, not hesitating, constantly told about the time when they were together. Then in the shopping center where we walked, bought marmalade for children and then she takes a marmalade and tries to get my man to get by. Then he looks like some dust particles from his jacket. I play with children with my soul torn apart, as if I do not see it.

After this meeting, we quarreled all evening. I know for sure that he does not need him and he never loved her. But all that I saw ... It is clear that she did it on purpose, and yet it hurts me terribly.

I will tell you more about the woman's nature: she smokes, drinks, she yells at the children, she took out hashish and giggled from my jacket, saying that it was fun. Education is not engaged, only ponta throws what she's smart. Education, by the way, is also zero, without a king in the head at all. She once threw the children a phrase: "Wash your feet in the village, and then no man will go to bed with you!" She has her own man for many years, is going to marry him, but she did not add any brains to her at all. Her calls, their conversations, the fact that they can easily drink tea at her house - it all drives me crazy. I just boil because of anger because he talks to her quietly when she is naughty, because she does not raise children and feeds the child with chips when he has gastritis.

I'm living horribly for the children, arranged them for the camp with studying English, preparing for school, because they do not know the multiplication table in the 4th grade. I wrote them down to a psychologist, I made the programs different, because they are very different girls. I drive to museums, zoos, dolphinariums. When I'm next to them, they obey, or they show themselves on the horrible side: they can be rude, run away and do not show respect. Because of all this, next to them, I feel like a fish thrown ashore.