I’m an OnlyFans model and being on the site has ‘ruined’ my dating life
A British OnlyFans model claims that being on the site has “ruined” her dating life as men presume she is “easy.”
“I love what I do but the success has come at a price — it’s ruined my dating life,” Fenella Fox, from Worcester, told NudePR.com.
Fox has 118,000 followers on Instagram and tons on OnlyFans and said she makes $200,000 a year off the site, according to Jam Press. The 28-year-old said she has a strict rule of not having sex until the third date, but most men she goes out with seem “impatient” to get to the bedroom.
“I would love to have sex — in fact, I’m desperate for it — but I’ve been pretty much celibate for five years because men just can’t seem to wait until the third date … they just assume I’m up for it straightaway because of my job.”
https://www.digistore24.com/redir/302188/Erandaharshana/
Fox revealed that she doesn’t tell men about her rule because she would like to see how they act without knowing about it.
“I wonder if I’m more of a trophy f–k in their minds and when that trophy isn’t as easy to get as they thought, they give up,” she said.
Fox noted one instance when she and a date went back to her apartment and when he was told they would not be having sex, the man got up and left.
“He looked me straight in the eyes and said: ‘I’m not attracted to you anymore,’ ” she recalled.
https://www.digistore24.com/redir/302188/Erandaharshana/
https://www.digistore24.com/redir/302188/Erandaharshana/
Fox said she has “been pretty much celibate for five years because men just can’t seem to wait until the third date.”
Fox, who has also tried dating apps, said the pressure from society to find “the one” is also taxing.
“There’s so much pressure for women to find ‘the one’ — or men assume that because we’re nearing 30 we want marriage and kids — but I would love to just have great sex,” Fox told Jam Press’
“But I don’t like one-night stands. Men don’t seem to have the patience to get to know me.”
https://www.digistore24.com/redir/302188/Erandaharshana/
02
How I Learned to Take Control of My Dating Life
We kissed on the dance floor a lot, it was all very teenage. I know because my friend took a mortifying video of it.
The next day we were texting and decided to go on a date the following Saturday. By the time Saturday arrived, he hadn’t replied for a while, so I assumed it wasn’t happening anymore. I felt the world slipping out from under me again, fell back on my pillow and started clicking through Instagram Stories to distract myself. Saw the thick, hairy wrist of a boyfriend’s arm on a table next to an Aperol Spritz, a plateful of pasta with an egg in the middle, someone doing deadlifts in the gym, and then something that I actually wanted to see. It was a screenshot a friend had taken of a conversation she was having with a guy who kept rearranging their date. “Sorry to do this again, are you around next week at all?” he asked. “No worries,” she replied. “Let’s just leave this here.”
It was such a delicious response, so much better than just ignoring him would have been, because then he would have been able to invent reasons why the date didn’t happen rather than knowing for a fact it came as a result of his indecision. She still sounded casual, though, so it was clear she didn’t give a fuck. And it was conclusive enough to allow her to move on without wondering if he might come back. I decided that if the date didn’t happen, I wouldn’t bother trying again, not because rearranging a date is always inexcusable, but because I don’t like the way it makes me feel.
I thought of all the times I’d fancied people that never emerged, hatching wild plots to get their attention again. It made me crazy. I ruined whole days thinking about it. I wasn’t going to let that happen again, and, knowing that, I felt in control regardless of what happened with the date. Instead of staying in and stressing all day, I went for ramen with my friend and laughed as the salty broth splashed against my face. We were meant to go to an exhibition but couldn’t be bothered, so got iced lattes and sat by the river on a bench talking about stuff we wanted to write instead, and I felt like I wanted to run home and throw it all onto a page. I didn’t feel like I needed to check my phone, I didn’t feel sick, I could still hear everything my friend was saying to me.
Before, I never understood what it meant when women spoke about seizing control of their dating lives. I get that you can be more proactive—you can walk up to men in bars and introduce yourself, you can ask friends if they can set you up with someone. But how do you wrestle control from men when they still have all the power? When the sheer mass of great women available means the odds are stacked firmly against you. When every decent guy has already slept with one of your friends. When none of them can maintain interest beyond a day of texting on a Sunday when they’re hungover. In this economy, what impact can you have ignoring their messages or pretending not to see them on a night out? You can play hard to get, but in the end, chances are it will only be you who doesn’t “get” anything. In walking away, they won’t run through the city in the pouring rain to get you back, they won’t sit down in the shower and cry thinking about every time they fucked up. They’ll probably just start liking a few of your Instagram Stories until gradually they forget about you.
https://www.digistore24.com/redir/302188/Erandaharshana/
03
Ask Amy: millennial guy wonders, ‘At what point should I just quit dating and embrace a monastic life?’
Dear Amy: Many years ago, my brother missed a week of school, struggled to catch up, and then committed suicide.
In a note, he explained that he got a zero on a test because it was on him to make it up, and he didn’t get around to it in time, as he was overwhelmed with make-up work.
For the most part, I don’t think my parents are to blame here; they were not very strict about grades, though they did insist that we do our homework.
My niece is about to start kindergarten. I told my sister that if her daughter ever falls behind, it would be best to get her out of the regular classroom until she can get totally caught up (I don’t know to what extent this is actually an option).
My sister thought this sounded odd. I then realised that she likely didn’t know what led to our tragedy, as she was in college when our brother died, while I was still living at home.
I have not yet told her. I’m worried that she will blame our parents, or even try to track down the teacher who gave our brother the zero (I guess I could leave that part out).
Should I tell my sister now? Should I wait a few years, or until I hear about a problem involving school?
– Torn
Dear Torn: You are assuming that your brother died by suicide because he was overwhelmed with schoolwork.
I think you should train your focus outward and understand that there were likely many factors and perhaps additional triggering events that led to this tragedy.
And yes, I hope you will choose to talk about it with your sister, and tell her everything that you remember – not necessarily to influence her parenting, but because this is a primary event in the life of your family, and it is extremely important to talk about it.
When you have this conversation, you may learn that she has an entirely different understanding of the event. She wasn’t living at home at the time, but she may have insight that you lack, due to the difference in your ages.
Suicide remains a taboo subject in our society, but for survivor families there are additional layers of guilt and anxiety, in addition to their deep sadness.
It is simply overwhelming, and I intuit that you are still overwhelmed and somewhat trapped in the storyline of that long-ago trauma – because you are extremely worried now about your niece’s emotional and mental health, all tied to the pressure of schooling for a kindergartner.
Therapy would be a game-changer for you. I hope you accept this prompt to pursue it.
Dear Amy: I’m a millennial guy nearing 40 with about 10 years of dating experience before COVID hit. I found dating to be very difficult: time-consuming, fairly expensive, etc.
After talking to friends and seeing others struggle with dating and relationships, I found many other people agreed.
The divorce rate is high, so I know many (if not most) marriages struggle, too.
One part of dating that I never liked was finding someone perfectly nice that liked me, but I didn’t like in return. I’m not a cold monster and hate hurting other people’s feelings.
I managed to find a girlfriend, but she dumped me for another guy and then dumped him for another guy. I don’t want to have kids or pets either, so that’s not a priority.
Since COVID hit, I haven’t dated and have found life to be much easier in a way.
My question is: at what point should I just quit dating and embrace a monastic life?
– Anonymous
Dear Anonymous: The time to quit dating? Now.
Time to embrace a monastic life? Never – (unless living like a monk is truly what you want).
It is natural for you to choose the path of least resistance, but I think you should also take this opportunity to do some soul searching in order to figure out what kind of life you want to lead.
As an exercise, write your own obituary. What would you want it to say?
Dear Amy: I’m having a weird issue, but maybe you can help.
I really don’t like going to the dentist. I haven’t been in a good long while, and I know I should make an appointment – but I can’t bring myself.
Any ideas?
– In Need
Dear In Need: Have someone else make the appointment for you, and take you there, if necessary. Promise yourself a reward afterward.
https://www.digistore24.com/redir/302188/Erandaharshana/