Chapter 1. The Beginning of Everything. Burnout

in myfailurejourney •  last year 

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To tell the story of my investment failure, we need to rewind the clock a little. As previously mentioned briefly, I used to work as a software engineer. I had worked on various development tasks in a large corporate software development department, and I even led some projects with small teams. Over the course of 15 years in the software industry, there have been significant changes, from mobile platforms to cloud, big data, deep learning, and cryptocurrencies. The constant emergence of new technologies and trends is a double-edged sword for developers – it can be enjoyable and painful at the same time.

I always wanted to keep up by learning new things and continuing to grow, but the reality of corporate work doesn't always allow for the use of cutting-edge technologies. Additionally, the never-ending cycle of busy routines made it challenging to find time for continuous learning.

My salary was not meager, and I received a fair amount of recognition within the company. However, at one point, burnout came knocking, and I crumbled under its weight.

It started with what seemed like common cold or flu symptoms. However, the pain was too intense, and the duration of suffering was too long. Despite undergoing numerous tests at the hospital, the cause remained elusive. After using up several days of leave and seeking medical attention, I returned to work.

Just like any other day, I greeted my colleagues cheerfully and took my seat. However, as I tried to start my work by turning on the monitor, my chest tightened, and breathing became difficult. After about ten minutes, the symptoms subsided a little.

At that moment, I thought, "I need a break."

Instead of simply taking personal leave, I made up my mind to take an extended leave of absence.
I spoke to my manager right away, who was already aware that my health had been declining, so obtaining approval for the leave wasn't too difficult.

Those who have experienced burnout will understand. It was a moment when I had to put everything down and step away.

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