How coming "out of the closet" changed my life

Although I realize a lot of people face scrutiny when sharing their sexual orientation, I have been lucky enough not to have received too many negative comments on the topic. I met Amber on my first day at the job of my dreams. We shook hands and I was hooked on her ever since.

Feeling this way about someone, especially a woman, had me very confused for a number of months as I had only previously dated men and had identified as straight. My roommate at the time, my best friend, and I would pace the kitchen talking about recent developments in mine and Amber's relationship. We'd stay up late analyzing texts and conversations and convince ourselves that she was madly in love with me. even though she was living with a girlfriend at the time...and this girlfriend was also an employee of the office that Amber and I worked at. Awkward.

After a harsh break up between Amber and her ex girlfriend (my coworker), she was suddenly single. We began hanging out a lot, and I slowly started bringing her up in conversation with my mom and my brothers when I would visit them every Monday. They began catching on to the spark in my eyes when I would talk about her, the blush on my cheeks when they'd ask how she's doing, and the urgency I'd reply to her if she sent me a text message. It was obvious, I was completely captivated by her.

Growing up, my mom had always made sure that I knew that every single person is equal. No race, gender, age, orientation, etc. could devalue a person in any way. However, this being said, she also never wanted me to face the public challenges of not "fitting in" with the crowd and having to deal with being bullied or ridiculed. When I finally confessed that Amber and I were officially "dating" she was a little bit sad. She knew I would have some more challenges than if I had followed the cookie cutter lifestyle you're "supposed" to have, but she was supportive nonetheless. My brothers began calling Amber "Ambro" and welcomed her immediately into our family. By that Thanksgiving, she was at the family dinner with us.

My dad is a whole different story. My parents are divorced. They are 30 years apart. My dad is Mormon. He takes the definition of "close minded" to another level. He absolutely despises people who aren't white and male. He is Trump's dream of a man. When he noticed I started bringing Amber to my brothers' sporting events, I was welcomed by his smirk and shakes of the head. I slowly began calling him less to catch up, spending less time sitting by him at these sporting events, and revealing less of my personal life. We began to only speak to each other on holidays. One day we stopped talking altogether. Now when he looks at me he looks right past me, as though I'm a ghost. A stranger. As though he didn't name me. It's hard. But everything happens for a reason. He has no idea what a positive impact Amber has in my life, what bad habits she's broken and what good habits she's given me. As a father, you should want your child to be adored and happy. And I am.

My sister hardly talks to me at this point as well. She sided with my dad in the divorce and I sided with my mother. She is extremely stubborn. Although we are twins, we couldn't be more different. She doesn't like Amber for one simple reason. Her gender. She feels she has "bad intentions" and said she looks like a "hooligan" because her hair is short. I love her hair. If you can't love those little curly cues then what can you love?! My sister and I have very surface level conversations about once a month, barely holding onto the idea of a relationship. This has been hard for me as well, and part of me thought that she'd come around eventually. But if I know one thing about stubborn people, it's that they are very ...stubborn. And Catherine is as stubborn as they come.

In general, I get many "you guys are so cute" cooed to us at the supermarket, and "COUPLES GOALS!" commented on our photos on social media. I am surrounded by support by my friends and most of my family. In a perfect world, I would be able to have my familial relationships not altered by the gender of my significant other, but this isn't a perfect world and I am okay with that.