A few thoughts to get down in writing

in narcissism •  6 years ago 

Hi everyone.

First off, than you so much for all of the support. I know we don't really know each other here, But we're online friends, and this is a safe place for me to express my feelings... sort of anonymously.

Today I got a call from my wife. because I have taken my paycheck away, and left her enough to cover the mortgage. I couldn't do it, I hung up, I'm not strong enough. She sent me a text, basically saying I shouldn't have made any financial decisions without discussing it with her. That after years of her controlling everything and making all financial decisions without consulting me, cause in her mind, she knows better, and I don't really matter.

Normally a rational person in that spot would wake up and say to themselves "I don't like how that feels" but then say "oh my goodness, that's what I've been doing to him". But this is not a rational mental disorder. I need to keep reminding myself I'm not dealing with a normal healthy human being. And she is not capable of understanding basic empathy and logic like that.

I remember a few years ago, I told her, she needs to remember Mathew 7-12. Often called "the golden rule".

KJV: Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Do unto others as you would have done to you.

When I brought that up, she lost her cool. She couldn't even hear me say that, because it meant, she would have to be responsible for her actions, and treat me better.

I set everything up at the bank, without talking to her, I just did it. then I called a lawyer and set up an appointment. because I think she's going after me. I have new locks, an alarm installed and tonight I'm going to bestbuy and buying a surveillance system.

Thanks for hearing me out. It's been very helpful writing this stuff down, and hearing kind and supportive comments.

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It's good to see someone break this cycle to help themselves and start healing. It is inspiring to see someone talk about it which, in my opinion, will help someone else. Hang in there online buddy. :)

Thank you my friend.

Hang in there. Things will only get better now that you are taking action!

Thanks. It will, it's just hard, and the worst part is she doesn't understand why I left. But I have to deal with me and not worry about that.

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