Understanding the Narcissist... is it possible?

Honestly, I wish I could understand narcissism. I wish I could just "get it", But I'm not sure I can.

Here are some of the main characteristics of a narcissist to help you avoid getting too involved

He/She:

1. needs constant affirmation and praise.
2. seeks out conflict - picks fights unnecessarily
3. will make no real emotional attachment to another person, because they cannot be made vulnerable. But can put on a show that seems like they have deep emotional ties.
4. lacks empathy
5. will be offended if you disagree with them, they only have one sided discussions
6. cannot give or take constructive criticism
7. is self centered. Me Myself and I, everything everywhere, is about him/her. Vanity is important
8. is above such petty things like traffic laws, They are the "normal", and everything is beneath them
9. demands perfection. Usually from themselves, but always from others.
10. will not take personal responsibility when things aren't perfect. There is always someone else to blame.
11. is overly charming. The narcissist can and does charm the pants off people. Now not everyone who is charming is a narcissist, but I'm pretty sure all narcissists are charming.
12. is manipulative. You will find that the narcissist always is able to get their own way, and sometimes you aren't sure why or how they got you to do something.
13. must control every situation. This can be a seen as a good trait to have, because it can produce results. But, take it from me, it can be the worst trait of all.

So do I understand, well, on paper, when I write it out, I understand the technical, the clinical side of it. But No I cannot wrap my head around the mindset of it. I cannot understand careless, emotionless self aggrandizing. I bet it isn't possible, unless you are a narcissist as well.

Anyway, these are some of the common characteristics of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or Borderline Personality Disorder. So keep your head up, and if you can, surround yourself with real friends, and loving relationships.