Enough With Your Bushy Hedge and Rotten Hedge Trimmer
Dear Mr Jackson,
I have always felt annoyed living near to you. You are the most terrifying neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud singing.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your hedge is too bushy and your hedge trimmer way too rotten. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a dog collar
I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud singing from upsetting me. I demand that you cut down the hedge then invest in better sound-proofing.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your smelly gerbils increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a classy neighbourhood like Rose Close.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your loud singing on Instagram.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
satochi