2018...so far

Why bother?

You know how you always party on new year's eve? You kiss your loved one, take a shot, and predict how next year's gonna' be even better? Of course you do. We do that all the time, every year. 2017 one of the best years of my life. I bought my own car, visited several countries, and partied like it was 1969. I thought to myself there's no way 2018 could be any better. I was right. It didn't get any better.

From hero to zero

2018 is here. Boom! Eleven days later, I managed to lose the most important thing in my life: my girlfriend. We broke up. I never wanted this to happen, but somehow it did. Eleven days later, I feel lonely and sad. I wouldn't call that a good start. I feel like this year's gonna' bring a lot of pain an suffering just to balance the fun stuff that went on in the previous year.

Change

I'm not sad about the way it all went down. Couples argue and fight all the time. We managed to kiss and make up most of the times without any long lasting damage. But now it feels so...real. After one of our big fights several months ago it just hasn't been the same. We've grown apart, I got bitter, and we didn't spend as much time together. But damn it, I can't escape her. I got pictures with her all around my room, and some of the best memories involving her, in my head. I just can't think of a moment in the last 3, almost 4 years where she wasn't by my side. It sucks, it hurts, and it's sad. All that aside, the saddest part is that I know in my heart that I've also changed and I could never love her like I did before. This thought makes me wanna' cry a little. We've changed. I've changed. I can't write anymore about this. It's painful. I can only hope for the best in the months to come, and let's hope 2019 will have a better start.

I miss being with you